The Anecdote Teller

7 year old kid and Doctors..

2010-07-21T21:50:00.003-04:00

V. went swimming today.. and he fell on a nail while he was getting undressed and got some wound on his tush. So I tell him that we have to go to a doctor to get a tetanus shot. So a conversation started regarding doctors and being undressed.

V: I dont like when the doctor sees my undressed

Me: Nobody likes that. But, its important for the doctor to see what happened or check if you're healthy

V: The doctor is a pig

Me: No. Thats not true. Its their job to check out if all my children are healthy.

V: But other people should not be in the room.

Me: like?

V: brothers or other ladies (meaning the nurse)

Me: We can send your brother out, but the nurse came in last time because you were kicking and it was hard to check you without help. You are a very strong boy.

V: even mothers..

Me: Well, you mother have to be there.. or father.

V: Well, even the doctor should'nt see me undressed. She should just give me the needle and I'll do it myself.

Special For Chavi!

2010-07-19T20:31:00.002-04:00

Chavi, a friend of mine told me how much she misses reading these anecdotes, and all of a sudden I was missing it too. I stopped writing completely after I quit my job when I was expecting H. Yup. There's an H. now and "It's a Boy!" Another boy!! He is now 19 months old and boy did we miss a crucial part of writing down his lil' antics.. :( Oh well, the affects of being a 3rd child..

H. can say. "Mommy, Totty, Geb meech, Nuch Soda,"

Can identify his nose, stomach, hands, feet, shoes. and a lot of other things.

He loves his little stuffed monkey, and I love dressing him in Paul Frank pj's. As a result of that 5 year old D. and his friend downstairs call him "The Monkey"..

D. is a mischevious little thing. He mostly seems like a quiet mouse to outsiders but once you get to know him.. you see how funny he is. He loves to make silly voices.. and i'm not sure if I ever wrote this but its possible.. he still does some weird voice that makes him sound like he's "battery operated".. Its funny (except when he overuses it and we need to have a serious talk with him).

V. is still a big tzaddik - k'h. OOOH... From now on, I will try to write stuff down again as they happen.

Since I dont have work drama in my life anymore (Thank G-d!!!). It'll be alot more about the kids and their little antics.

Big Concerns for a Little Kid

2008-09-17T15:59:00.003-04:00

I made this album through iPhoto on my Mac... really cool. However, my kid thinks its his and he wants to show it to everyone. Now, the pages are not that thick, and little kids all over my masterpiece doesnt really excite me very much.

V: I want to go down and show M. and S. the picture book.
Me: I don't want the book to tear. So, call them up and I'll show it to them once.
V: But, I want to go down.
Me: I want you to be able to have it always, so lets just show it to them here where I can watch that it doesnt get torn.
V: Ok, but I want to take it to my house.
Me: huh?
V: When I get married, I want to take it to my house.
Me: Ok.
V: But right away when I'm a chussen.
Me: OK
V: On the way home from the wedding, I have to go home with you, and make a stop here, and bring me down the picture book.
Me: Ok
V: Oh, this can be my gift. My wedding gift.
Me: What a great idea!

Count 'til 10 Before You Make A Funny Face

2008-09-16T14:01:00.003-04:00

You know how when you're walking down the street, meeting and greeting people you once knew. Sometimes you stop and chat, sometimes you just smile, and other times you say "Hi. How are you?" without even stopping.

Well, one of the things you learn with experience is who to stop for, who to smile to, and who to totally ignore. When you let's say graduate high school, and you bump into someone that was in your grade and you say, "Hi, How are you? I haven't ------" (like in... seen you in a long time), but they've already walked off, they are mentally put on the 'say hi, and walk on' list...

It can happen in reverse as well. A person you know and you bump into in the street, and they stop and chat, sometimes its surprising. But, you learn that next time you see them, to expect some friendliness coming your way, and reciprocate.

But, what kind of lesson do I learn, from a 'walking Hi, How are you?", after I said Hi! (I don't ask How are you, if I'm not going to wait long enough to get an answer :), and then she makes this funny face....

I think she's going on my walk and totally ignore list.

OB/GYNs should not have Barbie bandaids

2008-09-15T19:15:00.002-04:00

Well, I did leave my job, and I'm going stark crazy at home. Yes, I know there is always something to do at home but.. I'm just not that domesticated. Anywho, I am now 7 months pregnant and looking it. The kid doesn't stop moving around, and I suppose thats a good thing, but really... non-stop! I'm surprised I can fall asleep.

Well, at 22 weeks I was diagnosed with placenta previa, and had an update sonogram this morning. Well, the ob said it doesn't look like it moved, and that really got me nervous. Besides, the probable c-section (definate if it doesnt move) and the cut, pain, healing process that scares the heck out of me, I also need my body back right after baby is born. Hello, my brother is getting married 4 weeks after I'm due. (Yes, my bro is engaged)..

After the Ob, I went for a sonogram at some other place. Thank G-d, I am IN THE CLEAR! Whoo! What a relief!

Mmm... but this post doesnt explain my title. Well, I had the glucose test done today. Doc used a Barbie bandaid for it. I usually don't let him put on bandaids at all, but I was too preoccupied with our conversation (We always talk about Chassidim and such.. He loves talking about chassidism).. Anyway, it made a good conversation piece when I came home and showed the kids. Yeah, I'm weird that way..

Let us see how much time passes until my next post. I guess I was simply in the mood.

Update.. Update...

2008-07-04T13:34:00.002-04:00

Well, I thought my troubles at work were over when that skunk Spivack was let go, but it turns out it wasn't all about Spivack.. He, of course, with his infinite con-artist self, has opened my eyes to a lot of hanky-panky going on in general. While he was the master, I can not ignore the fact that this company is run in a crazy, unethical manner, but hey.. why am I starting this up again..

So, jumping to my personal life, - I am constantly stressed at work (Shevy, I said personal life), and it is killin' my zen. So, I have strongly considered, as I have about 10 times strongly considered, quitting this dead-end, full of crazies, unethical, place of employment and enjoy life being a wife, mother, web browser, internet shopping, window shopping, entertainment seeking self. Like I said, I've considered this a lot of times.

Now, the circumstances are different though. Buroch HaShem, I am expecting another child at then end of the calendar year... Now what other excuse do I need? With V. I liked my job, and to work with one child was not so hard for me. With D. I had a babysitter in place, and I just had to add #2 to her herd. Well, now its not as simple. V. and D. are being watched by my totally awesome downstairs neighbor before cheder and after (no after in the summer. Mostly I make the bus since it comes an hour later than all year). She is not a babysitter, per se.. Just a kind neighbor. Anywho, I would have to look for another babysitter, (and would only consider one in my house for 3 kids) and I'm not interested. I have no will power to do this again. Its time to add laundry and cooking to my task list, and take off dealing with these crazies at work.

So, while I seem adamant about my decision, anybody I've mentioned this too seems to doubt that I will ever do it. Granted, I have a bad track record of quitting and then being pacified in staying. But again, the circumstances are different.

Another thing, I used to be miserable staying home on Sunday, but in the past year, I've grown to really like being home when I had a day off.. I dread going into work. Even some of the people I used to like - I can't tolerate them anymore.

and besides, I'll have more time to blog.

Did I tell everybody already!!!

2008-03-16T13:24:00.003-04:00

The !@#$%^&* Spivack is out! He's gone! No more!

The BS they are feeding us is that he left on his own. Better opportunity arose, but I am not that stupid. 10 days of closed door meetings and "shushkening" in the offices, and the fact that there was no notice gives it all away. And Hello... they changed the locks!

so Chananya Lorman tells me that Spivack left and the BS story, I said "you know, you got to say what you think you have to say, but I can't help but tell you that I dont believe that crock for a second".

After he changed the lock, I told him "if you're trying to keep a certain person out, you should inform building management, bec. in their book he's still a hotshot here". Response: Its already been take care of. I take that as an admission...

Anywho.. I'm finding it harder to maintain a blog while in facebook. Bloggers in the same friend list as Work people. I may just get myself into a load of trouble.

I don't use any names. I don't blog during work hours. I don't think they can fire me. But it will not bode well for me at all. So you all blog/facebook peeps. Hush! (0 comments, yet i'm still worried? silly me)

Finally!!!

2008-03-14T14:44:00.000-04:00

Yirmiya Spivack is a goner!!!! Woohoo...

Sweet Potato Pie

2008-02-18T17:46:00.002-05:00

Hey, I was thinking where I can have an online recipe book... then I thought, hey, why not do it right here on my blog, and tag it recipe, and tadah! So, here's the sweet potato pie recipe I got from "Leora" that I've lost a half dozen times. So, Now my blog must live on for eternity.. (um.. maybe I should jot it down somewhere else..)

Anywho, for now. Here goes:

3 Sweet Potatoes (cooked)
1/2 cup sugar
handful of flour
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon lemon juice
pinch of salt
cinnamon
1/8 cup oil

mix ingredients, put in ready pie crust. back at 350 for an hour. Top with brown sugar and cinnamon. Um... do I have all the ingredients... I better, because the sweet potatoes are cookin' on the stove.

Bloody

2008-02-17T15:39:00.002-05:00

D. knows his colors..

Blue, Green, Yellow, Purple, Brown, Black, White, Orange, Pink and Bloody.

The Consequences of "Germs"

2008-02-17T10:46:00.002-05:00

V. is going through this phase of giving "germs alerts".

"Don't eat that from the floor, its germs"

"You can't have from my drink, its germs"

"I can't give you a lick from my ices, its germs"

even if its me or D.

Anyway, he looks at me, and a freckle on my nose thats a 'lil bit more obvious than the rest of the freckles of mine, and asks me "Did you get that pimple on your nose, because you had germs?"

Wait until he hears about Vashti!

Foot Store

2008-02-17T10:21:00.004-05:00

I may be talking to my kid too much. I don't recall ever mentioning anything about pedicures, but somehow he picked it up... I can only assume its from me.

Scene: 6:30 p.m. Kids are fresh after their bath, in PJ's...

V: Mommy, you must take me to the foot store..

Me: The foot store, you mean the shoe store?

V: No, the foot store

Me: You mean a foot doctor. Does your foot hurt?

V: No, I have dry skin on the bottom of my foot. You must take me to the foot store..

(of course, this dialogue takes place in Yiddish)

Storytelling

2008-02-05T20:06:00.003-05:00

V. has become enthralled with the fact that once I was a girl, and stuff happened to me, so he always wants to hear stories about when I was a kid. Here's one I remembered and have to keep on repeating because he loves it soo much.

My cousin and I were at our grandparents all the time. She actually lived there, since my aunt divorced right after her wedding, and I was always visiting because she was my age, and (yeah, why was I there all the time???) anywho... one Sunday, my grandmother, and my aunt weren't home. My grandfather was keeping an eye on us, from the dining room table where he was looking into a sefer.

My cousin and I, both had the same names - (her mother and my father are siblings, but she

went with her mother's last name, so lets say for the blog that our names were both Shevy Blonder).

So, we, the two Shevy Blonder's found a dime on the steps up to our grandparents apartment. Now, what to do with the dime was no question at all. Why, the most popular candy store was right across the street. So, we decided to go. It is certainly no big deal to go to the corner and ask someone to cross us, and we did. We peeked into the dining room to make sure that our grandfather was unaware of our sneaky plans, and proceeded as planned.

Well, I started to post, then got tired... will continue the story some other time...

Part 2 - what is it 10 days later???
I figured I'll continue in the same post, so people can read it in one shot (what people?) except for my annoying 'i got lazy' interruption..

So, we actually asked someone at the corner to cross us, and we ran excitedly into the candy store. It took quite a while to decide how to spend our 10 cents, mind you. Jelly beans - you probably get more for your buck.. err.. dime. I can't remember what we actually bought, but the old lady behind the counter was not happy with this. We kept on asking "how much is one jelly bean", "and this candy", and "that candy"... I can not imagine how annoying that must have been, but hello! this is a candy store! Candy stores are for kids, no? So, when we finally bought our candy, she yelled at us never to come without our mothers. We were so astonished. For us, this store was equivalent to "The Gingerbread House" being for adults, or "Amusement Park" that kids can't go to. So, we go back to Grandma's house, feeling sad that we were banned from paradise. I remember walking back so upset. Until the other Shevy had a brainstorm.

Naturally, she was the one more comfortable and "heimish" in grandmother's house, since she lived there. I wouldn't have had the audacity to do that, but she says "We can go back. We will put on makeup, and she will never know that we are not mothers"... and so, since she knew the exact whereabouts of grandmothers belongings, she was the boss of the makeup... and we shmeared makeup all over our faces... After invading the privacy of grandmothers drawer for her makeup, where to get more money was a given. We found another coin (dont remember exactly what it was, a nickel, a dime... a penny ??), We were off once more. Cousin Shevy, even took along her pocketbook.

Our Zeidy looked up from his sefer, and if he saw the makeup he didnt say anything. His view of us had given him the peace of mind that we're ok, and he can continue to learn.

So, we go back and we thought our plan was foolproof. This time when we asked for prices, we spoke with "motherly sophistication", and we were shocked and dismayed when the woman behind the counter recognized us despite our masquerade, and shooed us out of the store.

So, thats the story... without the end of Babbi coming home and finding her lipsticks smushed and all over the place.

Sweet memories!

More BS...

2008-01-07T12:02:00.001-05:00

So, the wheels turn, and Yirmiya Spivack and Benjy Hirsch are in the hot seat, and of course they are pointing their fingers at "marketing". Apparently, it is MY fault that they haven't done anything in the past 5 years. As Yirymiya says "a good PR person can sell a rock", ha! He couldn't have said it better. He has turned this company into just that, a worthless rock, a piece of crap!

And typically, knowing nothing about media and marketing or design, he puts it into one bulk! Another good point he had was "that its a modern age, and everything is more technical". right on, bastard! But in his book that puts HIS job in my lap, because anything that requires a computer is seemingly my job!! All these comments of his were said at a meeting last week, when I had the urge to yell. "Yes, you're right and that means that YOU should get on with the program" and advance it.

I know this is pretty vague, but I'm just venting, without giving away too much information!

Anyway, I can't really say more about this, bec. then it would have to be very specific, and we don't want that. Although, if any of those cronies, especially - Moe, Larry, and Curly, ever chance upon here, they'd know I'm talking about them.

Oh, ,... How it killed them to see that I was invited to that meeting. Even more so, they were livid when Simon Mandel said he liked my ad that we worked on together! Even more so, they were pissed when it was told that with any designer, concept comes from leadership! Even more so, they were mad that they were admonished instead of placated and coddled, Even more so... this can go on forever, so I'll stop here.

I will try to post more often!

About Us

2007-11-17T23:41:00.000-05:00

I figured I haven't posted in a while, so i'll describe everybody a 'lil bit.

Ethel Adler - Has her own business under the roof. Not only does she not pay rent, she gets paid.
Ralph Berger - funny and smart. The only director who actually does any work. 1 point for team normal.
Debby Bienenfeld - She was new last time I posted. Working out great. We just have to get Pinchas Levy to get accustomed to giving work to someone other than me.
Leora Blau - Smart. Fun. Don't know what I'll do when she leaves. She keeps me sane in this place.
Dave Breuer - mailroom guy. Does his daily crossword puzzle every morning while eating a bag of potato chips and coke for breakfast. Chananya taught him how to scan stuff, and I think he's do a better job than Ruth Horowitz did.
Randi Finkelstein - Who was hired to assist Benjy Hirsch, Yirmiya Spivack and Jacqueline Stone is getting a free ride, because they all hate her, and don't want to give her work (some is her fault, and partially its their refusal to do any work whatsoever, so they blame her for their lack of work)
Benjy Hirsch - Joey in Friends, just not that funny. Doesn't know much about technology, and always voices ideas that are sort of ridiculous. He has been kind of nice to me lately (like after he started hating Randi). It is kind of the reason I wouldn't want her to be fired. The bastards leave me alone because they are too busy hating her.
Ruth Horowitz - was fired. When she wasn't shopping online, she was ordering food. Honestly, there are others doing that, but she was new, and I guess they didn't want another one like that.. the longer they stay, the harder they are to fire, no?
Sylvia Lefko - always the funny, lively one. A senior, who can't keep up with technical advances, but is a loyal worker.
Pinchas Levy - I guess he acts nice most of the time, but takes advantage when he can.
Chananya Lorman - smart, funny, and promises change, although I'm growing impatient. We've been discussing a salary increase since September, promises, promises promises... lets see it that ever materializes.
Marty Markowitz - Quiet guy. Was hired to be the CFO, although his title doesn't match with what he is actually doing.
Normal Mandel - funny, I don't even remember who that is supposed to be. I guess I should reread my old posts,... ha.
Rose Pollack - Bookkeeper on the verge of a nervous breakdown - all the time.
Toby Spitzer - business under the roof, no rent, but getting paid. She's supposedly opening a new business, and offered me a job (no contract, no details) I don't really trust her, and I'm not sure I'd take it.. Definately not without a written contract or before her business is stable.
Yirmiya Spivack - is actually TALKING to me. (Questions really...) I think he wants to prove to Chananya that it is/was all me. but I've always been the tit for tat kind of girl and answered his normal questions with normal answers, and his rude comments with .. um.. just that. Tit for tat.
Jacqueline Stone - is sooo annoying. Enough said.
Cynthia Weinman - She left, and I miss her :)
Yoel Green - Got engaged. Works part time. Normal.
Clara Stern - Bookeeper's assistant that is doing a better job than her boss. Probably on minimum wage.
Avi Fried - I think he's a temp. A little weird. But, I think he'd be great for secretarial work.
Avraham Tessler - worked at the company about 4 years ago, and he's kind of back, and hired...
Ayala Berg - who also worked at the company about 5 years ago, and HE fired her. Weirdness, but I'm happy for her, because she's happy. Anywho, enough for now.

If you comment, I might feel more inclined to post more often.

A link I need for work

2007-08-24T18:27:00.000-04:00

link

The Only Podcast I listen To

2007-08-24T18:00:00.000-04:00

The only podcast I subscribe to is Leo Laporte, the Tech Guy. I usually download it through iTunes, and listen to it, on the commute, or drown out the meshugenes at work.

I am also researching how we can stream video on our website for little or no cost, and according to The Tech Guy, he does it through ustream.tv. So I also want to see how nicely it embeds into a website, so we don't have to direct people to the ustream.tv website, and how big their logo imprint is on the side etc.

So, technically, I am working now. I am blogging and embedding a video as a test. So here goes. He's not a very pretty boy, if I gotta say. I don't know why someone would want to waste their time staring at the screen while listening to him. I prefer the podcast over the video.

Big question is can you embed a screen when you're doing it live? I guess I have to open an account and test it.

Hello, y'all.

2007-08-24T14:20:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I know, I've been getting lazy, and the posts are few are far between. I'm taking a week off work, yay! My mind needs a break before it explodes, and I chose the 2 no-school days.

Boy, that is going to cost a pretty penny. When I don't work, I shop. And shop. And shop.

Work is same old. I'm getting tired writing about it. Friday is not the greatest day to write about work. I need to sign on when I'm really ticked about something, and need to rant. I bet my friends are sick and tired of hearing me rant about work. Maybe you are too. (whoever), but I don't care, because this is my blog.

Kiddos:
A few weeks ago I bought 2 packs of junky sunglasses for the kids. 1 I gave to them, and 1 I had when trouble brews and they fight over the only 1 that is not lost somewhere around the house, or left in the street or school. So, as predicted, D. is trying to grab away the orange sunglasses from V. and they are fighting and screaming. I put the "extra" in my pocket, and told V. to give me the sunglasses, and I put it in my pocket and took out 2. Now he thinks I have magical powers, and keeps on giving me stuff, and tells me to make him another one. Wouldn't it be cool to have a cloning device? (I can't say that it is the best parenting behavior, but it prevented me from having another migraine)

We are having guest for Shabbos, and V. is cleaning up his room so C.R (his aunt) will not think he is a "shluch - messy".

D. doesn't let me call him a cutie pie, but "tooter'el" is fine by him. "tooter'el is used like instead of "little stinker", but not really stinker,... can't translate it exactly. Somewhere in between little stinker and little munchkin.

Combo post

2007-08-15T23:09:00.000-04:00

Wow. 2 "not a bad day" in one shot. Not too bad. Well, tomorrow Randi is back, so G-d give me strength... I gave Ruth a writing project to do, and it just isn't getting down, and every time I go to her office, she is minimizing some website, shopping. Do I tell someone? This project is my responsibility... When she showed me her frumster profile, I told her "No wonder you're not getting anything done. You're getting distracted".. Chananaya told me if need be he'll lock all those website.. I think I will tell him that its a good idea.

Someone calls Yirmiya Spivack, and he's not there (as usual). In all honesty, I think he's on a business trip for real this time, but communication in this place is non-existent. Anywhoo. the caller asks if he's on Jury Duty, because apparently he's been trying him for a week without a response. I wasn't the one talking to the caller, but it was on speaker, and I mutter "Yeah, he's been on jury duty for 5 years now"...

Toby had a grandson, and like the 9th or something. She invited everybody to the bris. Now,do I have to buy a gift (even if I don't go) because she bought very nice gifts for me. But these are grandchildren.... I dont know.

I'm taking a week off, the last week of August. So, the second I mention it to Pinchas he starts giving me ton of work, wah!

After work, I went S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G at J. Crew (again, I'm addicted).

V. comes home yesterday, and tells me that they learned how to do teshuva. So, me, assuming that he means that he'll always be a good boy, say "Great, now pick up your clothes from the floor and put it in the hamper". So he says "No, thats now how you do Teshuva!". He goes to the wall, leans his head to it, pretends to cry, and does "al cheit"!

We went to Toys r' us, and D. got super excited when he saw a "Scoota" (Scooter), so we bought him the 3-wheel kind, and he scoots like a professional. So cute. I can't believe he's almost 3.

What I ate/drank today: Venti Iced Vanilla Latte; A M&M oatmeal cookie from Sylvia; A healthy muffin (she can put stuff in it that nobody would dare put in a muffin and it still tastes good) from Sylvia; A chicken kabob pita; Red Bull and a Lamb Chop (mmm.. observation: I need to drank something normal like water sometime)

Why I just wrote what I ate today, beats me. I was making the "cheshbon" in my mind, and was typing.. for no reason at all. Wait, while I go barf up my lamb chop. Too heavy for my usually empty stomach.

Back to Square 1?

2007-08-14T20:33:00.000-04:00

Ugh... I'm back at square 1. Finally, my job has been transitioning into something more technical, and I was happier. It was great not to have to deal with Pinchas's nitty-gritty faxes, memos, and stuff while doing the technical things. Thing is, it takes him such a long time to get used to giving his work to someone else, and finally - finally he started. It took about a year for him to start giving his travel arrangements and stuff soley to Randi. It took him a while to get him to give Cynthia some of the work.

Now Cynthia left, Randi is on vacation - and I'm the only go-to person. If only he'd realize that, and give me the raise I've been kvetching about. Debby is ok, but it'll be an entire new process to get him to give her stuff.... (sigh)

Quiet and Busy

2007-08-13T20:15:00.000-04:00

Chiefs were out. Randi was out. Less drama. More work. Ruth was in a pissy mood today... She told Leora that I hate her. Well, I mean, I don't like her, but I don't know her well enough to hate her. I definately hate her work ethics, and incompetency, but I don't hate her.

Ralph and Yechiel are back from their summer trip. More power to the normal people. Anyway... That's it about work.

Shopping Edition

2007-08-08T20:07:00.000-04:00

I love J. Crew. This is what I bought today. It was even worth the look I got from my sitter for coming home a little later than usual. From the looks she throws me, you would think that she would pay me, NOT to bring my kids. I'm looking for someone else, but it's quite difficult in the summer.

The New Girl

2007-08-08T17:32:00.000-04:00

Well, Cynthia left, and we were all sorry to see her go. So, on that last day, (last Thursday)... mmm... I forgot my made up names. :), Randi organized a huge lunch from this Middle Eastern Place.

Which is very nice. However, it is totally ridiculous how inconsistent this is. I admit, she was more liked in her 5 months than some are in 5-10 years, and more people will miss her, but it's gotta make sense. Dave Breuer is there for 25 years, or was it 30, and all he got was a 9 inch chocolate cake. HELLO???

Anyway, Cynthia was a bit embarrassed, and Sylvia Lefko raved about her and stuff, and Randi tried to hug her, and Ruth. That never goes on well. Don't try to hug someone from your office, unless you are sure that A. you are real good friends and B. that the person is okay with it.

So, there's a new girl now - Debby Bienenfeld. We were a bit worried about her, because she doesn't know Word or Excel, but I think she'll be fine. She's laughing at Sylvia's joke, so that, at least makes her happy. She seems to understand the instructions I give her, but we shall see...

It is also always fun to realize how new people take in their new surroundings, (and yup, I've mentioned that in a previous post).

Very skeletal staff today. People don't even bother rolling out of bed in this weather. Ruth stays home. In general, I understand if someone wants to take a day off or something, but she's working in the company approximately 1 month, and has already taken 3 days off. Plus, she has been getting alot of criticism regarding her work, so I don't think another off day was a good idea. Anyway, she IM's me.
R: You made it in...
Me: I'm that way (rude, I know - just can't help it with some people)
R: I waited for the bus an hour (probably BS). I feel so guilty.
Me: The trains are back on track now. You can still come in.
R: See you soon.
I have no idea if she came, but why BS about feeling guilty, when she probably didnt make much of an effort to come in.

Tomorrow: The Competition of Inappropriateness: Randi vs. Ruth

Work Friends

2007-08-02T22:45:00.001-04:00

Description of Picture: Cynthia climbing the walls the last couple of weeks... It was easier to portray than updating the database, or twiddling your thumb, and definately more fun!

Cynthia, Remember the story you told me about your co-worker who invited you to a party? He told you about 5 times that you should come, and then was shocked that you did? I'm not saying that its the same thing, but here goes. This is more personal than I really am, but hey! It's my blog!

So, I was really going to go to your party! First of all, like, when do I ever have a party in the city? My so-called friends are home or in the mountains cooking for shabbos or folding their laundry. Even when they aren't, they are not the type to be havin' a slammin' party in Chelsea. G-d, they wouldn't be caught in Chelsea, unless they happen to be going to that Gap. No, they don't WEAR gap, unless its for a t-shirt under their clothes, but they may dress their little ones with gap (not with the Gap logo in big, and some other rules apply), but still.

Anyhoo, I call Leora and ask her if she wants to come with me, and she's like "What? Nah, that doesn't make sense. You're a work friend". "But, I was invited" I say. Which she says "So was I, but I'm not going"... and she may be right. In the normal spectrum, your work friends you rant about work, and you work with, but it is more of a professional relationship. But truth of the matter is, that I have grown so far apart from the people I refer to as friend, that work friends is really all I can have fun with. I do speak to them, but really, the people that know me the best, are my work friends. (maybe one or two RF's, but that is all) I mean, I can't even tell a RF (regular friend) about shows I watch. Movies? They would tear their hair out of their head! The notion itself is just so far off, I wouldn't even consider it. A RF in my life, is one I call while I fold laundry, and talk about potty-training my kids, and how much I hate laundry (they cant even relate to hating laundry - they love laundry. That means that its peaceful and they're not running after their kids).. Not that I don't respect my RF, but I need a friend to hang out with too, so if work friends are "off limits", ... :(.

So, normal people, who don't have this double identity crisis - have many friends, and can departmentalize them, and maybe if they combine them, it can become a huge mess.. Too many people in their lives!

Funny thing, I never really cared about that - rules. I am still friends with a few of my former co-workers. However, since Ruth has given me a dose of her "I need to pour out my soul to my co-workers" vibe, calling everybody honey, and insisting and swapping spit (of course I'm joking about that last one). I just don't want to be like that. Is it not normal to become friends with your co-workers? Fine. I guess I will stick my head back into my computer here. I could've used a stiff drink tonight. I should have gone. Gotten drunk or something. If I can't have friends, I can be drunk and crazy.

And if you do become friends, at what point are you not work friends anymore, but just friends? Or are you condoned to that sentence forever?

Bananas and Nuts - aka - craziness

2007-07-30T18:57:00.000-04:00

How the day flew by.... Got in at 10:00 because I went to the gym..... 10-12: Meeting via conference call. 12:00 - 12:45: Did some catching up with phone calls, and itty bitty things that Pinchas needed from me... first time that I was touching my computer that day, and I noticed the nuttiest thing.

Every time I scrolled down, the screen would scroll right back up. Couldn't scroll an email, couldn't scroll down a webpage, couldn't scroll down a document... Home button didnt work, and techie Norman Mandel was there, and we were trying to figure this out. Anyway, we reset the wireless keyboard and mouse, reset the computer, still happening. Then when the mouse was not connected, we noticed the mouse was still moving....

Then, we remembered, Friday, we had peeps cleaning the carpets, and someone put all my crap on my desk - on my graphics tablet and MOUSE... klutzkup!!

Cynthia is almost leaving. :( .

Other small points:

Rose Pollack has been wearing week in / week out the same shirt. It's not the kind of shirt that one would have two of.. and she's been wearing one or another shirt for like 10 days in a row. Day 1-2 is not a problem, No 3-4: she doesn't smell yet, but has this unfresh look about her, Day no. 5-6: I'm not sure who would get close enough to catch a sniff.. So, it seems that she noticed her need of some clothes, so Shahechyanu... she bought herself a new suit - 3 sizes too big, and lime green. It hurts the eye.
I needed to speak to Ethel Adler about a project, and was at her desk. Marty Markowitz who sits at the next desk was not at his desk. (of course, that is not his real name), so I sat down on his chair and scooted over. He gets back, he threw such a fit,.. how typical of anything in this place.. Jeez.
Ruth asked me to pick up lunch for her, which is absolutely no problem, and I do gladly. My answer "no problem" was answered with a "that's not too friendly for you, getting lunch for me?" and "I don't know when I'm being too friendly".. Why does EVERYTHING need to be a conversation????? This dudette has some social problems! (duh)

Anyway, I need a vacation, and it doesn't look like I'm taking any. :(

I'm going to try to post a high and low of the day (as in the movie The Story of Us). Disclaimer: Highs and Lows may be, considering that some happenings during the day are being omitted due to its personal nature, therefore Yes, that is true, its basically pointless, but as I'm blogging anyway, no harm done is giving all those stupidity, yet more thought.
High of the Day: My redbull
Low of the Day: miscommunication between our company and the software company we're working with. So damn frustrating.

Kid Notes

2007-07-27T14:39:00.000-04:00

V. took off his sneaker, put on his slippers... is sitting on the lego box, because its low, and pretending to cry with a siddur and his taalis. I asked him what he's doing he said "I'm making Tisha B'av". He wanted a wafer, so he proclaimed that Tisha b'av is over.

D. is trained. Hallelujah! He is 35 months old, and was so nervous about him not being able to go to cheder in September. He was being extremely stubborn about it. I've been putting him on the toilet since last Shabbos/Sunday, but it was hard to convince him to go. Yesterday we had the huge breakthrough, when he asked to go. Yippee!

V. is a neat one. He's got a drawer of his favorite books, and his little knick-knacks from school he keeps on organizing in his drawer. G-d forbid someone should touch them, or put a book back on the wrong pile. But, when D. went to the toilet, he offered to give him a prize from his drawer! Isn't that a sweetheart?

D. takes the cordless phone, and says into it (like its a radio), Police, kim trug (come take ) V. in jail. He ausgegusen (spilled in yiddish) the legos.

Work Rant (duh!)

2007-07-26T21:42:00.000-04:00

There are quite a few things that bug me about people's work habits (again, duh). Ya, know - stuff like not showing up for work most of the time, and goofing off when you do, or those that do show up, and goof off 98-100% of the time, yada yada (Duh, duh)

One of the (many) things that really bug me is how some do their work. You know, the 0-2% of their 8 hour working day. Randi in particular does this an awful lot. When she sits at her desk, and needs to ask somebody a question, she bellows their name in her really annoying voice. Obviously, that is not only annoying to the person that she's yelling for, but the other people who get deafened by the shrill of her voice. An independent worker she is not. She basically expects everybody to drop what they're doing and just walk over to her desk.

The person she is bellowing for has a couple of options. A - run over to her desk to help, B - Yell back, which some do (surprise, surprise - what else would you expect from some people), or C - ignore her until she uses some normal method of reaching you, like that 50K worthless crap of a phone system (a story by itself).

I'm not referring to a boss or the like. I still like its rude either way, unless you're calling someone that is right out the door, and/or is your assistant. I guess there are some circumstances where it is not so outrageous, but somebody who in a real sense, is administrative staff, shouldn't be expecting to everybody to be available and ready at her every beck and call. Hello? Get your a** up from your fricken chair, and go ask your question directly. Funny thing is she also calls out "Pinchus!", who really, NOBODY calls on a first-name basis, but she loves to show that she is a peer or pal. Something she caught from Toby Spitzer. Even those who are more friendly with him, may call him by his first name when talking one-on-one, don't yell out his name. Hello? Is he expected to come running to her desk as well? Or should he yell back? Come on!

Now, to take this "visit on demand" issue up a notch, Ruth has been doing something similar to that. However, she is still new, and when she calls my name, I think to myself "Oh, I still have to guide her, she still needs direction" and walk over to her desk, which is next to mine. Yet, she shows me.

What she's been shopping for
Vent about somebody (You know, I'm all for venting, but don't interrupt my work and rush me over to your desk, because you want to rant that Yirmiya Spivack yelled at you that yoga is avodah zorah. I mean the entire thing is utterly ridiculous, and the sooner she learns that asking him his opinion about anything is asking for it)
Some stupid websites. (i'm all about stupid websites too. If there would be a contest of who has accounts in the most places, I may not win, but I consider entering the contest, but usually I visit those sites when I'm completely bored out of my mind, like the 25th hour of Tisha B'av).
Some dude on Frumster or stuff. Now, why would I care? It's not like the type of person she'd be set up with would be good looking or anything. I can always watch Grey's Anatomy if I want to view some eye candy. Really, don't need to see more pictures of fat, bald, middle aged men. (now, that was mean). Which, wouldn't tick me off that much if I can just look at it, say "cool" and walk off, but noooooo,... this follows with a conversation of if she is ready to settle down, not ready to settle down, if a girl needs a guy to make her complete or not, and philosophy of life.......yawwwwwwn.

So, after all this, it took some time for me to start showing that I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed that she constantly interrupts me with this stuff. She is annoyed that I'm annoyed.

Just by being me, I don't keep this to myself. At one point, I pointed to the batch of sheets on my desk and said "You see that, that is a month worth of work". It's true. I have to take forms and create fields and insert them into new software, without any prior programming experience. She's like "This is not the Shevy I know, all of a sudden you're so bitchy". Second time she called me that in 2 days.

I don't think any of the bosses like her, so let's see how long this lasts. Probably forever. They never fire anybody.

P.S. Nothing to read over the weekend. :)
But I borrowed 6 movies from my tenant: Two Weeks Notice (which I already watched, but i'll watch it again, The Story of Us, Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Moulin Rouge (was at the Broadway Show) The Day After Tomorrow, and The Lake House.

My meez

2007-07-24T21:13:00.001-04:00

Just Stuff

2007-07-23T16:35:00.000-04:00

Today, I'm in Chananya's office, dealing with a computer program issue, when Benjy Hirsch is making a ruckus outside as he usually does (Drew in the Drew Carey Tea Episode.), so I turn to Chananya, (who before working for the company, he was a... um... lets call it a stockholder) and ask:

Me: So, did you know what a nutty place this is, while you were a "stockholder"
C: Nuttiness doesn't bother me, incompetence is a bigger program.
Me: Well, in most cases, its a combination of both..

* * *

I mentioned to Cynthia that Ethel was also a social worker. Now this is a good one!

Cynthia: How is that possible? She looks like she's on the verge of suicide!

* * *

Ruth, who was hired to take care of PR has been walking around empty-handed and Ralph Berger asked me what she is up to. Not because I'm in any way responsible for her workload, just because he thought I might know. Ruth, who has been shopping online, eats all day is very quickly becoming something to talk about. Not to mention, her public ranting of her personal life that raises some real red flags within the hiring process. Anyway, I don't know how we got to this point, but PR = private recreation in this company.

* * *

I told Ruth to stop calling me honey, or Shevy the beautiful, bec. I don't like to have a "barfing" feeling in my throat all day.. I only told her to stop calling me honey, (not the reason). Also told her not to touch me because I'm not the touchy feely type (she is giving me the creeps).

* * *

Randi was still ignoring me. About 1:00 I passed her desk on the way from Leora's, and I said hi. She just gave a slight wave. She is still obviously pissed. Not that I care, but I like the in between. Be courteous, but don't be too personal. Like tell me that your doc told you you were starting menapause. So, I was telling Sylvia, that I'm ok with people not liking me if that means that it will stop them from sharing their menopausal symptoms, and other things that go under the TMI category.. Ruth overhears me, and she was joking around that she wont be sharing that info hopefully for another 25 years. I tried to hint that other things are also TMI,.. slowly I am trying to distance her a bit...

* * *

Anyway, now that I've finished up my delicious Tiramusu, I will post this, NOW!

* * *

Update: Funny that I mention "Drew Carey" in some weird twisted way, because I just read on The Shtus Blog that Drew Carey is officially taking over "The Price is Right"!) (The Story)

Lifehacker

2007-07-20T14:00:00.000-04:00

I will not be blogging about work from Friday through Sunday. I found a new techie site today, from one of my other techie sites. lifehacker!

So, today I learned how to send people my songs from iTunes, entire playlists etc. and a clever way to keep your toothpaste rolled up.. (I saw it, and one word that came to mind was duh!), a link for 101 - 10 minute recipes and a whole lot more.

Now, I know this isn't much of a big deal, but I love this design, and I'm going to make my google look like this (unless I find a cooler one)

So, bye bye!

Reading material for Shabbos:
The Descendants by Kaui Hart Hemmings.

Randi is Giving Me The Silent Treatment

2007-07-19T19:07:00.001-04:00

Randi isn't talking to me - Like I wrote in a previous post, she thinks her job is merely being a paper pusher from one person to the next, so she had to write a cd, so tag word: cd = Shevy, so she asked me to do it, and I told her, that her computer has full capabilities, and all she has to do is drag her files to the D drive, and files to cd. This was about TWO WEEKS AGO. That conversation took place in private. This week, while I was having a conversation about a huge project with Chananya, she walks into his office, and tells me (as if she has never asked me to do this), that she needs a disk....blah blah blah..

I had already discussed my issues about her with Chananya, which of course she was unaware. I gave her the same exact explanation that I gave her two weeks prior. I told her more so, that it would have taken her less time to burn the cd, then to walk here, have me walk to my desk, burn the cd and have her walk back. She was playing a game. She thought if she asks me in front of Chananya, I will say "Certainly, ma'am". I was even more pissed because it was more important for her to get me to do it than to have it done. She had waited a while to bring this up, at the opportune time. As usual, Chananya made it into a joke, first saying "kids, don't fight" and then "Oh, Shevy, ya know, we're oldies. You need to show us how to do that stuff"... Of course, he's completely computer literate, and he's done more basic admin stuff than the person that should be doing it. The problem is he takes all this office politics in stride, and it should get straightened out. Anyway, I burnt the cd, then sent her an e-mail saying it was done, with instructions how to do it. (A. Open cd drive, B. Insert empty disk, C. close cd drive.. yada yada)

Anyway, so Randi starts this patronizing act, "No, I'm asking you because you're so great with computers, as well as its my job to delegate each project". I say "This is not a project. This is an action that you need to know for any project that you do. Anybody in an administrative position should know how to burn a cd". But she's like "She doesn't know". (Bigtime BS. She knows how to burn MUSIC onto cd's).

Anyway, two people who witnessed this scene enjoyed it immensely. Cynthia Weinman who was given me a huge thumbs up from her desk. Yirmiya Spivack who hates both of us, must have enjoyed it as well.

I can kvetch until tomorrow, and he'll give me "right", but that doesn't mean that he won't give the other person "right" as well. (Just like Pinchas Levy).

So, thank G-d, I'm on a break from Randi's venting about Jacqueline.

Other topics I could've written about

Ruth and her desperation of "lips to smooch" repeated verbatim
Besides looking like Urkel, I noticed that Jacqueline also looks like Savta Simcha
Ruth cleaned my disk, because I'm messy and she's a neat freak. Jacqueline tells her it was "inappropriate" to take even 5 minutes to do that. Hello???? She says if she had 5 minutes extra work, she should be doing data entry.
Jacqueline's overall assumption that it is her job to harrass new staff people. She also told Ruth to dress more conservatively. I honestly believe that Ruth in her 1 month of employment, can already sue for harrassment.
Cynthia (another normal one, thank G-d) would have gone to Burmuda with me, if I would have a passport.

What else is there??? :)

I Need Something Like This

2007-07-18T18:36:00.001-04:00

Mmmm.. first I titled this post, "I am Totally Getting This", then after reading about it (after loading the picture. It looks so cool, doesn't it) I read I see there may be other options that are more "techie" than this nice white pottery barn one for 79 bucks. I guess I'll check out the ones "that are good enough for the men, as per gizmodo.

Other options:
Mahogany Charge - $149

Gomadic - This one looks quite practical, but I can't seem to
find the price.

Chargepod - $49 base +$9.99 each additional connector

There are actually some more of this kind of shtick. I got so into this techie thing, and I just forgot what I was doing with it.. blogging. tech stuff. When did I become such a geek?

Meet the People

2007-07-17T18:14:00.000-04:00

Please note: These descriptions or anecdotes are not in the order it took place, nor is it in the order of level of annoyance.

Jacquline Stone:
Imagine the Urkel look and voice in a middle aged woman. Besides for that, she is the most annoying human being, I have met in my life. She is busy with her personal sh** all day, and gets away with it. Don't have the patience to go into details of her personality, but you'll learn as stories crop up. (and if you know, you know).

I was getting quotes for a print job from 4 printers. I get an e-mail from Jacqueline, maybe we should get a quote from Printer25358 because they just sent her a cheesy flyer. So, me, knowing most of the printers and the quality of work they do. I reply, Printer 25358 is more of a low-scale printer, and would be appropriate for small stuff like flyers or posters, not one for a project of our magnitude. I'm not saying that they don't do it. I don't think they are right for the job. Reply: "Are you sure they are not right for the job?" to which I say "I'm fairly sure. But, do I really have to be 100% sure? I sent out for quotes from 4 printers, which should give us enough choices.

You tell me. When you quote something, do I need to get quotes from all printers in the tri-state area? My gosh!

Randi Finkelman:
I noticed a little trend. When someone gives her a project and she delegates it, when asked the status of it, she says "It's been taken care of" or "It's done" Rather than "I did it, or Sylvia did it". But when she gave even the slightest effort to contribute to the project, she takes almost the entire credit.

She is also very loud, and inappropriate. Example she yelled once: "Shevy, I have a coupon for a free panty at Victoria's Secret, do you want to come?" Talks very loudly in the reception area, about her menopausal state, and lingerie"

Chananya Lorman:
He's really a great guy. Smart, has patience, competent, kind to everyone, but I feel he is skirting a lot of the issues. In a way, that is the only way he can stay at this job, because to deal with some of the issues, some heads would have to roll. You may think, hey, this is the opinion of one bitter, burnt out woman, but everybody thinks so. Problem is, everybody thinks the others head should be the one rolling. Meanwhile, we are all intact, and Chananya literally walks on eggshells around people. Like one day, Jacqueline needed a mailing to go out and Randi said she didn't have time to do it because it takes 4 hours, Chananya solved the problem by doing the mailing himself. I'm thinking "Kudos to him, but this is not tachlis". Kind of plays devil's advocate most of the time. Great fit for Pinchas Levy.

Leora Blau
I just thought I'll put a nice normal one up here to balance out my negativity. I think she has been working out great for the sub-division and yay! she's not a temp anymore! Isn't it sad that my nice ones just get a few lines, and the nutty ones get a paragraph or more?

Enough for now.

The Deal About New People

2007-07-16T17:17:00.000-04:00

There is a saying "You never have a second chance to make a first impression", and I get that quote, but sometimes, a first impression is not one that matters so much.

In the workplace, when one has been there for numerous years, like me, sometime, somehow, people coming into a position within the company, see my frustrations as "she's burnt out" or "she always thinks negative", and that, my dear friend, equals a first bad impression.

That being said, anybody hired in a position higher than mine, can see me as a "employee they need to fix" or fire, probably. In due time (like a half working day) they realize, that despite my negativity and burnt out status, I am the only way that actually knows what is going on in this place, so at that point, they may make the conclusion that 1. my attitude is not the first thing they should be working on or b. they can't fire me YET.

I did in some cases, make a point, not to complain or say anything negative about anybody (With my number one adversary being Yirmiya Spivack) to the new superior. You know what? I didn't have to say anything at all. Within a couple of days, everything was all figured out WITHOUT my help in pointing out flaws and incompetence.

Like Yirmiya Spivack, never works. He could be out for days, and is not expected to give any explanation. I won't get started with him. I was just in the mood of making a name for him right now. One thing is for sure, he's one manipulative, lazy, s.o.b.) He's also not the only one. If one thing is consistent, is they're all a bunch of lazy people.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that there are lots and lots of problems to be dealt with, and the characteristics of each employee. However, I may, in some people's point of view still be one of the problem cases. Especially, due to the fact, that a lot of the incompetent people have high position jobs, and have more of an opportunity to say what and who they feel as at fault.

Although after weeks and months of questions and problems that come up, and once again realize, that the only person, (literally) that even knows what they're talking about is yours truly, they see that most of my complaints are valid.

It takes a little while for some, but at the end of the day, or week, or month, (depending on how fast they want to acknowledge that fact) it is obvious that some people can barely be tolerated, if at all, and the question remains, why do they still have jobs??

Yet, nothing is done to rectify that problem. Now, do I sound bitter and burnt out??? Yes? Well, that's because I probably am.

Waiting for that Red Light

2007-07-16T00:46:00.001-04:00

You know how it is, when you're waiting for someone to reply to your e-mail, so you wait for that red light to blink.. Blackberry lying right next to you, or even in your hand and you wait for that red light to blink... wait for that red light,.. wait for the red light... and then it finally blinks, and depending on who's message your waiting for, you can have different reactions.

Like if its a fun conversation, you smile with anticipation. If you're expecting a reply from someone who you are having an argument with, you sigh or something.. but either way there is an expectation of either happiness or dread, worried or excited. But then the e-mail is from Starbucks Survey or FiveTownsShuls@yahoogroups.com.

The great part is when the red light blinks, and the conversation was one of fun and light heartedness, and the reply was the one you expected and made you smile or laugh.

My Weekend Wasn't Half Bad

2007-07-15T23:29:00.000-04:00

That is all I have to say.

Humongous Shopping Bags Needed

2007-07-13T18:28:00.000-04:00

The time was 9:30 a.m. and I was sitting on my front stoop waiting for the school bus to arrive. So, I was trying to keep V. entertained a bit. We played "I spy", and that lasted a minute, then we named the colors of the car passing. Anyway, a huge white van passes by, and I commented that this was such I nice new big white van. he says:
V: How did they take home such a big white van?
Me: What do you mean?
V: Did they have a really big shopping bag?

There's No Such Thing as Having Enough Music

2007-07-12T19:34:00.000-04:00

I guess today is techie day on my blog. Now, this is waaaay cool. You will soon be able to stream iTunes through the internet. It is still in beta, but you can try it.

Cut and Pasted from Gizmodo:

Using SimplifyMedia will allow you to add 30 of your friends' music iTunes libraries to your own and access them no matter where they are physically located. Right now the beta software is a free download and only works on PCs and Macs. If you do decide to give SimplifyMedia a whirl, be warned—the software sounds a little sluggish right now and includes one unforgivable pop-up.
A user-repulsing "Buy Music" ad appears while the program is open and can't be closed out, though it can be minimized. If you can look around it, SimplifyMedia sounds like it does what it set out to do, even in its beta state. Oh, no Vista. Solly.

Ok. Now I need 30 friends. With iPods. Who have the same taste in music as me.

Beaming is Coming Back!

2007-07-12T18:55:00.000-04:00

Remember the PalmPilot days? There is one thing that I miss about the PalmPilot. The feature where you can beam your contact information / or someone else's contact information to someone you meet. By the time, they perfected that feature on the PalmPilot, it was totally out of style.

I understand why the smartphones don't have it. PalmPilot was basically just an organizer, and email was hardly an important part of it. If I recall correctly, I was only able to connect my outlook that when I sync, I got my e-mail on my palm and I was able to read it on the train. Write email which would send when I connected to my pc again. Wow! Old times.

Thinking about it, I realize that I have never really toyed the Treo to know if Palm still puts that into their devices. Now Microsoft intends to enable their Zune to beam over songs for sharing and selling music, and apparently Apple is doing something similar as well. Here is the link to the article in Gizmodo.

I'm not sure how useful I'll find it with music, since I can just buy my music on iTunes. I don't really care about beaming music, unless the music beamed is free.

Update: Coincidentally, a friend I went out with today has a Palm Treo, and it still has the beaming feature. I guess all of those who have tinkered with Palm devices since way back when PalmPilot was in, know that. It's something I'd love to see on my blackberry.

Randi Fricken Finkelstein

2007-07-11T20:22:00.001-04:00

She is really something. Like everybody else, she's taken the postion of "The Supreme Delegator". .. I'm not sure how she got to that stage, I guess she's a mover and shaker, and she's delegating all projects to adminstrative staff. Thank G-d, there is one thing she mastered on her own, and that is to do the mailings. However, one mailing takes allllll day, and she huffs and puffs as if she's doing physical labor while the printer spits outs her labels.

Ha. It reminds me of one time, where she sent out a mass email, and she is huffing and puffing saying "I just sent out all those emails". She's literally huffing. So Chananya asks her "so, why are you out of breath? Did you run a marathon while doing it?"

She's the perfect paper shuffler, and most of her "projects" she's "working on" is BS - she gives it to other people to do When I go to her desk, I see her on aol private mailbox, and planning her vacation entertainment, and shopping. She used to show me what she's shopping for. She got a little smarter with time :)

We actually get along quite well. However, she is really starting to get to me. It is ironic that she keeps on venting to me, that her superiors expect their "a** to be wiped, and they can't seem to do anything on their own", and she seems to have the same problem.

Anyway, so she gives me something to do, and I'm gladly willing to help her in areas in which I can. However, it was something as stupid as saving a file in a different format. So, while I was doing that and she was standing over my head, I simply said "Randi, please look so you can learn how to do this".. so starts ranting "I don't have time for this", "I'm busy with million other things" and "Isn't this your job?" I was stunned. I said "changing file format is a skill that any person working in an office should know how to do", she rants "she cant. she won't be able to do it".. I say "Why do you have to be so difficult? Just look and learn.

The funny part is that I usually opt to do it myself without teaching the other person how to do it, because I just don't have the patience to show them. However, I was told by Chananya Lorman that I should teach some people how to do things. Furthermore, at some point, he wants to set up everybody with training in Microsoft Office and other basic software.

Anyway, she wasn't too happy that I opened my mouth to her. I walk to the main area where Cynthia Weinman and Sylvia Lefko are sitting with smiles on their faces. Me, she harasses on an occasional basis, but them - all the time. So they were happy that I told her off. Why am I the only person that speaks her mind???

Speak up, Ladies!

"Divorce Court" off day!

2007-07-10T21:23:00.000-04:00

Now, if there is one thing that I can say about work, is that there is ton of drama. Our drama queens can create drama out of thin air, but somehow, (especially when you're not in that 'scene') it is the cause for a lot of laughs. Anywho, today was a very quiet day since the chiefs weren't in. Interestingly enough, in the past when the chief wasn't there, that was an invitation for spats with no mediator, now that can be bad. Like kindergarten with no monitor.

However, I noticed, that lately every single little issue is brought to the king's advisor, oops, wrong story here --- one of the chiefs and if he's not in, it waits. With that realization is the one that the poor guy, serves as the in-house therapist.

The two occupying the chair the most Randi Finkelstein and Professor Jacqueline Stone looks like a scene out of divorce court. The mediator Chananya Lorman, being so calm, (maybe he's meditating while doing this, because I haven't met anybody that would keep his cool like that) states his decision in a very tactful way, ya know, kind of patronizing the both of them, so they both walk out with their egos intact. The Prof. Stone "appeals" to the king if she didnt get her way.. anyway, I don't have the time to go into a specific spat, but you get the dynamic.

All this drama can become very annoying. So, I've made it a habit to use my iPod at work (boss doesn't mind. I asked. I'm sure he wishes he can use his). Today, was the first day in months that the noise level was a little more to the normal side. It was a good change of pace.

Food predicament (but went totally Off Topic)

2007-07-09T18:33:00.000-04:00

Lunch, has become a big part of the day lately. I've been the type where 12:30 - 1:oo ish I'd pick myself up, take the 5 minute walk necessary to the closest eatery, pick out my salad (if there is tofu) or whatever I fancy that day, head back to the office and eat while working.

Anyway, there is someone Ruth Horowitz,*(names have been changed) who smartly, orders in. Therefore, she tries to recruit people to order in with, and ya know, I'd like to, and I do, but it turns into a half hour before I decide what I want. It is my observation that it probably takes me less time to pick up my lunch then to go onto the web, see what they have, hee haw over it, discuss, and then after eating - make the "cheshbon", pay, get change. (Actually, the payment issue I've resolved by paying the next time. Like, we shared 2 sandwich on 2 seperate days. I now owe her a sandwich, not a big cheshbon there)....

Ok. as usual, I'm kind of going off topic. We had a discussion today about Salmon Bisque soup. Now, there's Ethel Adler, who always orders Salmon Bisque, even 2 sometimes, which kind of makes it seem good. Obviously Ethel* likes it a whole lot. See, I like Salmon and I like soup, but salmon soup???? fish soup??? That's is even worse sounding than Blueberry Coffee, or Beer Milkshake. (yes, the treppenwitz post was in some odd way an inspiration for this post). I did not take the risk, and I did not order Salmon Bisque.

If blogger would have their poll element ready, I'd poll y'all. Is Salmon Bisque good? It doesn't sound like a very important question, and :) it is not. I mean, nothing ON this blog is particularly important, but every time it is on special, we once again harp over this one issue. Should we or should we not order Salmon Bisque. Which just reminds me I was going to ask Ethel for a eensy taste of it.. anyway, as always, I don't know how to gracefully bow out of my blog post, so I'm just gonna hang up on y'all.

(Can you tell I'm talking a lot to Southerners lately. I have had about 10 meetings with peeps in Texas in the past month, that its rubbing off on me a bit).

Bye!

P.S. I think I AM going to talk alot more about work on this blog that I did when I blogged a year ago. Now, I can put all that office drama and politics to good use, for the entertainment of well... hopefully - people. I have created a list on my side bar titled "Mock Staff" which will consist of aliases I come up with for people as I go along....

iPod accessories

2007-07-08T17:40:00.001-04:00

First of all, Check out this funny clip: iPhone: The Musical.
(SerandEz posted this)

Here is a funny cartoon from Gizmodo.

Anywho, on a personal note, here are my latest iPod accessories upgrade:
From

to

The Bose headset is great. When using that the sound is sooo clear, I don't have to put the volume more than 50-60%. However, I do not use my Bose when I'm in transit, because, A. I don't like the "look", it ruins my shaitel (yup, I still have some vanity left), and B. It's important that while walking, and on public transportation you stay aware of your surrounding, and with this great headset, you really can not hear anything going on around you. The XtremeMac earplugs are good too, but really not to compare. That is what I use the rest of the time.

From

to

I like my iPod socks. It may seem useless to some, but I really like to handle my iPod as is, without the plasticy feel that most cases have. I need something to protect it in my bag from my keys, change, crumbs, etc. It comes in 6 great colors, (although, the one pictured above is the gloomiest of them all), and it serves the purpose, defined by me, of course. However, I go to the gym, and I have not found an armband that fits my arm. I can also use one when I walk around the house. They are all huge. This one has great reviews on apple.com, and the pink one is supposed to be slightly smaller than the black one, so I figured I'll give it a shot. I'm expecting to recieve it this week, so here's hoping that it fits well.

cha... cha... bye.

This stuff is too Deep!

2007-07-07T22:56:00.000-04:00

What happened to me? What is this sudden urge to bare my soul? I've gone a little bit too deep these couple of days. Nah. I'm going back to light and friendly. (for now)

D. is so affectionate. It's the cutest thing to see him meet a kid he knows. He runs over and gives them a hug and a kiss, especially babies. I'm having big trouble toilet-training him. He refuses to go. I've tried everything. I bought this bike for him, and placed it on top of the china closet and said when he will go to the toilet he will be able to ride it. Guess what? He doesn't care. Doesn't want it. I ask him "Are you a big boy already". Answer: "No, I'm a baby".

I asked him, "When are you going to start going to the toilet". He points to his pamper and says "This is my toilet". Not kidding you.

anyway, tada for now.

P.S. I'll probably want to create a new header for this blog. Ya, that's what I'll do instead of laundry.

Lessons Learned

2007-07-06T18:26:00.000-04:00

There is one thing that I learned in school that I have not forgotten, actually two. Those two things are always the basis in which I judge the education or lack thereof, I got. When tznius is taught by manipulation and scaring the heck out of kids, no wonder there are so many bitterness and anger out there. Rebellion is a given.

1. I don't remember which grade I was in, but one teacher was talking about dressing tzniusdig. She said the punishment for not dressing tzniusdig is "that there will be a huge put of boiling water, and my mother, my poor mother, will have to dip the untzniusdige clothing in the boiling water, and dress me in it". That lesson conjured up so many horrible images in my mind, if I close my eyes, I can picture a huge pot like in the book (I don't remember the title) where the entire town makes a soup out of a stone, because everybody ends up bringing something... Well, THAT big a pot, and all my clothing are in it... and OUUUCH!

Now, in retrospect, when I think of it, this teacher was a young young teacher. Where did she take this information???? I doubt she had this huge imagination and just made it up. Is it something she read somewhere? Did her teacher give her this same lesson as well? I'm in no way trying to undermine the importance of modest dress, but that is not the way to convince young impressionable students.

I always had questions about that punishment, like "up there" what age would I be? Anyway, I guess it's stupid asking those questions, but it was the source of alot of real nightmares for me.

2. If you brush your hair shabbos, for every hair you tear, you lose two years of this world, and two years of the World to Come.

They say these things to you, and they expect you to turn out normal.

I think its a big mistake having young post-high school girls teach hashkafah for elementary kids. And, it's a cycle. They don't teach the beauty of yiddishkeit, because they have never known the beauty of yiddishkeit. Yiddishkeit is about obedience, and about what you are not allowed to do. It is about being really afraid of what your punishment will be in the World to Come.

Another thought I had about this. -- mm.. I took a break to take the kids out of the bath and lost my train of thought.. I'm stopping short here. Have a good shabbos.

Reading material prepared:
The Good Guy, by Dean Koontz
The Associate by Philip Margolin
PCWorld Magazine
Lucky Magazine
and Der Blatt :)

It's a redo!

2007-07-05T22:01:00.001-04:00

So, I'm trying to blog every day, but honestly if you have nothing to say, why not skip it? That's the thing. I have A LOT to say, and I mean that. However, not stuff that I would put on a semi-anonymous blog.

So, I tried to put some of my true thoughts into something silly, but it still didnt cover anything really, and in addition to that, it looked stupid (I have no idea if anybody read it, since I don't have a counter).

So, I deleted it! :)
I'd love to post stuff about work, make an alias and description of each person in the office. I did that once and it was a great deal of fun. I used the names that I made up. It got a little confusing for me (my blog was called workplace613), but that was too risky.

Do I take the risk?

I am Proud to be Ignorant!

2007-07-04T17:58:00.000-04:00

There should be bumper stickers with that message, and alot of the people I know would be proud to display it in the open. It took me a while to realize how uneducated I am (through no fault of my own, I may add), but I strive to educate myself, read, interest myself in current events and politics.

I really don't expect the people in my community, especially the women to be interested in politics. American Government was something we discussed every Wednesday, second period, in High School. Current Events some other 1/2 hour of the week and thats that. Secular newspapers are discouraged, and the only radio most of them listen to is maybe 1010 wins or 880... (radio is censored out in the textbooks in school) You are already "into" radio if you listen to Zev Brenner, Country Yossi, Dov Hikind, and what else is there in Jewish radio?

So, I understand where the ignorance comes from, but I don't understand the pride that comes with it. It is like being ignorant makes them the "better jew" or something. They use a special term for people like me, who "know too much".. "aufgeklert". I'm a bad girl. Its bad to know what is going on within your own country. It is a "shanda and a busha" to listen to Mark Levin or Sean Hannity. I don't think I know nearly enough. I have a friend who calls me "edumacated", mispronouncing the word educated on purpose to feign ignorance. "Hey, Shevy, I'm calling you because you're so edumacated"... That is the meaning of proud to be ignorant".

Last mayoral election, Mike Bloomberg had this entire thing on 13th Avenue. I blogged about it, but I have no patience to link to there. Balloons, cotton candy, concert etc. Mike the Mensch Bloomberg. The streets were packed. There was no place to move. I doubt 10% of those women voted. I think they should first encourage people to register and educate them on why it is important for them to vote.

I try very hard not to judge people for their ignorance, because being from a culture where education is hard to come by. You have to realize how little you have learned in school, and living in a community where the "outside" is not the outside world to want to be educated. But this pride, that I can't understand.

About Going up to the Mountains

2007-07-03T19:02:00.000-04:00

I never thought I'd say this, but it's too quiet here! Everybody is up in the mountains, and my children are bored. The weather is nice, the neighbors are gone. I only have between the hours of 4-6 really to keep them busy during the week, and the weekends, and even that is too much for me.

Honestly, I love playing with them. We play ball (the little one is a great thrower and catcher, and the big one kinda gets jealous), we do exercize (inside), I have a swimming pool on my porch, go to the park, I let them watch clips online (its actually almost like letting them watch tv, I know, but they still use the word computer, not tv, so I'm not in such trouble) from aol videos, vod animations, or kids stuff,...(err, um, I realize that I'm not really entertaining them at that point, but I try to limit the watching to once or twice a week) I read books, I play with their clicks - but they are bored of me. They want other kids to play with, and they are up in the mountains!

Even in the winter, my kids are downstairs at the neighbors for an hour or so and vice versa. They just love to be around other kids.

I always insisted that I would never go up to the mountains. I hate the entire dynamic.The women sit on their lawn chairs practically all day, yapping away. It is just not my thing, hence the fact that I work full-time. I just looked at my caller ID, and the last phone call made to my home in the attempt to just chat and catch up was June 25, at 8:31 p.m. and I wasn't home to take the call. The last call that I actually was on was June 21, 10:03 p.m. Ok, I do make soooome phone calls, some obligatory, and some social, and then there is IM, but I'm just not a phone person. The only people I really talk to are people from work, my mom, and sisters (even with my sisters we tend to communicate through IM, and sometimes we pick up a phone). I'm just not a yenta. (although sometimes I may sound like I am because I do ramble on when I do start talking or typing for that matter) However, I see how wonderful it would be for the kids. Running around in the green grass, swimming in a big pool with other kids, etc.

Now, I'm also not quite sure which "bungalow colony" one like me would fit in. I just haven't socialized that much with my chassidish gang in the last 10 years that I can't even imagine sitting and yappin' with my "chassidish shvesters" in such exclusivity. Those colonies tend to be set up in groups as chassidish, litvish, MO, lakewood type. Now wouldn't it make much more sense to divide it by interest, parenting, cooking, dieting, technology, books, or hey, how 'bout a colony for bloggers... Ok, I'm going a bit meshugah here, but I just simply can't fathom the thought of sitting around and listening to a conversation of what spices to put in the Eggplant Parmigian, Believe me, when I tell you, that I'd probably join right in, and be interested, because I have an interest in cooking for my family. However, I'd be on the low rung in a group like that. I'd be quiet taking it in, and feeling a bit inadequate.

If the conversation would be, what to shop, where to shop, what they bought, fine I can do that. But I have limited amount of patience for that. Yes, I can buy nice stuff, I can spend money, I can find a good deal, but I shop, pay, and wear. No point in discussing. I guess parenting is something that all "lawn chair occupants" have a real interest in.

Ok, I can say in a chassidish bungalow colony there may be a stimulating controversial discussion, (just think that that may be the case :) ), but my opinion is usually the unpopular one. Which is cool, when you have a one-time discussion with a stranger, or a discussion with a good friend. But not cool, when you become the misfit between "semi-strangers, stuck together for the next 8 weeks" kinda thing.

So, I guess when the time goes, I'd go as a misfit, and sit in my lawn chair and blog?

life as orieyenta: The kindness of bloggers

2007-07-02T20:03:00.000-04:00

Wow. This was a nice read! While I have kind of gone through a burn-out period, in some ways I remember that feeling of knowing these people. In a way, I feel that I lost out, because I was there when all these great blogs were growing into what they are today, and its like meeting them all over again, while I revisit my old "haunts".. Have a lookie.

life as orieyenta: The kindness of bloggers

My Scattered Mind. Can't Stay on Topic!

2007-07-02T19:02:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged in a while, and all of a sudden, I got this urge to blog. It got me thinking, was I less lonely or busy this year, that I've lost interest? The answer is yes! yes! and yes! It's not just that the kids need more attention. It is probably due to my choice of extra-curricular activities.
Blogs was out, iPods and music was in. Blog was out, Facebook was in. Blogs was out, movies were in.

Music - boy, have I expanded my music library. I reread all my archives yesterday, and how pathetically I was begging for songs. Oh, those days, when I thought that I wont succumb to the temptation of buying music from iTunes, but oh, I have. In fact, I don't hesitate for a second. It is like the instant shopping therapy! Bad mood, click iTunes store, select music, download.. No second guessing, no returns, its final as it gets! (then you get a credit card bill...) So, a couple of years with my pod have made me go way beyond Schwekey and MBD.

Anyway, I kind of see blogging as talking to myself. Unfortunately, somehow I have to do that. I have a limited amount of people I talk to on a regular basis. Most I can not talk about secular music, shows I like, books I read... but thats fine. I find it nice to have some specific subject to talk about with a specific person.

Like theres this person at work, I speak about American government and politics, another one about the books we read, another about Dr. House recent shows, yet another I trade music, and some other people know every move I do on facebook. (yes, I'm on facebook, but you can't find me even if you know me, unless I find you first and add you). while others I have to swallow vomit when I pass them (but thats an entirely different subject)

Ok, my kiddo here wants a photo shoot from Photo Booth (on my MacBook), so I'm gonna press Publish post, and whatever I just babbled on, will be read by, well, nobody i think.

Tada.

Upsherin Prep!

2007-07-01T11:01:00.000-04:00

Wow, how time flies. D. is almost 3. Anyway, just a little anecdote here. Motzaei Shabbos I was sitting next to the computer, D. was behind me. Picks up a beeper, turns it on, and when it vibrated, he rolls it onto his head, and says he's making himself peyos.

Gadgets in my Life

2007-06-29T19:12:00.000-04:00

The iPhone hype has given me the urge to blog ...

So, Me, the girl with the iPod, the newest digicam, the blackberry pearl, the MacBook Pro, the Wacom 11x14 tablet, am not that convinced about this iPhone. I've got too many cons.. or maybe I just want to believe its not all that hot. Its hot, it's cool, but I still think it would be smart to wait for initial feedback from the first group of buyers. And boy there is craziness out there.

Now, I thought I get super excited about technology. I also let go of the money pretty easily, but to wait on line for days, nah... life is too busy!

Besides, this iPhone only has a maximum of 8gb.. I already have over 10 gigs of stuff on my iPod. I'm sure that Generation 2 of the iPhone will have an increase in memory, thinner cooler, something (how else can I convince myself not to get it yet).. I think at this point I'll stick to my blackberry and iPod (even if i do have cingular/att and would eassssily be able to switch my phone around)

I also would need to find out how well it syncs with microsoft exchange, if at all. While I do have a MacBook pro, I mostly would need it for my office email which is in microsoft.

Even with all these doubts, I'm still drooling :)

A link for an overview of the reviews this product is getting.

Yes, another quiz.. is this getting boring or what?

2006-11-23T12:11:00.000-05:00

People Envy Your Ingenuity

You're a person with unique ideas, big plans, and a zany outlook on life. Many people look to you for inspiration.
People envy your creativity and "who cares?" attitude. They feel very ordinary next to you - and they usually are!

What Do People Envy About You?

Personality test results

2006-11-10T15:56:00.000-05:00

My Personality


Neuroticism	45
Extraversion	57
Openness To Experience	66
Agreeableness	20
Conscientiousness	61

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report
Find your soulmate / pysch twin

MySpace Quizzes, MySpace Editor and Ugg Boots by Pulseware Survey Software

Out of the mouths of babes..

2006-09-27T14:05:00.000-04:00

I was teaching my kiddo about personal safety... wht he should do if someone touches him where you're not supposed to (He had an experience with little girls, no big deal but warranted a conversation), or if someone offers him candy and/or wants to take him in their car or a bye-bye.

So, one of the things I told him, is that if someone wants to take him in the car, and Totty or Mommy don't know about it, he should first yell, NO, NO, and then if that person takes him to yell HELP!

So, the next day, I wanted to review what I said, and I asked him, "What do you do when someone wants to take you a bye-bye without totty-mommy knowing? He says "men darf shreyin ' A Vulf, A vulf!". (yell, Wolf, Wolf!)

I'm a huge Klutz

2006-09-12T18:03:00.000-04:00

Today, I left my handbag and all its contents (duh) sitting nicely on the MTA platform bench. The person who picked it up has

$40 in cash
a 20 gb iPod with great music on it (not much of jewish music on it, anyway)
iPod charger
a Dooney and Bourke handbag and wallet
gym membership (of course, I'll notify them - and I doubt they'd use it anyway! Nor are they likely to look like me.
Ann Taylor credit card (that will be stopped)
Gap Card (stopped)
Paycheck (will be stopped tomorrow a.m. as the bank opens)
tampons
Apple Bank card - needs a code anyway.

My main credit card was in my pocket. So was my Blackberry.

Another match...

2006-08-31T00:34:00.000-04:00

See this post...

ABC Memories

2006-07-02T21:37:00.000-04:00

A - Apartment: A 2.5 bedroom railroad apartment. Nice according to the community's standards. We started with $800 rent. Were raised about 50 bucks each year, until we were going to be raised from the 900's to $1200, where we jumped with our purchase of our home

B - Babysitter: Now this goes back a long time, but her name was Evelyn. (I'm sure she wasnt the first, but thats until when my memory serves me) She got fired when she was caught drinking up all the alcohol in the neighborhood. Then we had a neighbor babysitter Elaine, who played with the kids "Clap hands, clap hands, until Daddy comes home, daddy's got money and mommy's got none"... She also told us amazing stories, made up continuations of the classics like Goldilocks, 3 little pigs etc.

C - Cellphone: I remember it was a panosonic, quite slim by Year 2000 standards.

D - Doctor. I remember meeting classmates in Dr. Mandel's office, so we definately used her/or him at some point. Then we also had Dr. Kypson, an old timer and still very busy doc in BP. Dr. C. was the one we used the longest. I was scared sh**less to go to the place.

E - Earrings: Once, I think I was 9, my earring fell into my ear while I was sleeping. My parents had to call a doctor for this, I was in extreme pain. I can invision myself sitting on the bathroom counter, with someone *hurting* me....AAAaah.. Well, I didnt wear earrings until about 15 after that.

F - First Best Friend. I never had that many. There was H.H. who I became really close in camp of 3rd grade. We were really good friends in school for 3 years, although she wasnt a classmate of mine. in 6th grade she changed into my class, and we had a huge fight. This is what happened: I went to study for a spelling test at her house (which is really stupid in the first place, since spelling was the one thing I was naturally great at, and was the LAST subject I need help with. Oh, yeah, she had lost her spelling book...) So by mistake, I left my spelling book at her house, and the next day, she came to school with her "found" spelling book. The top cover was missing. (my spelling book with my name torn out)... Ha, I doubt she has internet access, so she wont be reading this. (actually, I think M.G. was another best friend I had in first grade, but she moved away :( )

G - Grandmother - I remember my grandmothers brouch I wore on shabbos, when i was there for shabbos. (lots of grandmother memories, but we'll just put up one)

I'll stop here for now.....

Hernia?

2006-06-26T19:07:00.000-04:00

This is a "me" post. So, I've been going to the gym alot lately, and my side is killing me... ouch! I reminded myself, that when V. was born my ob said that I had a slight hernia*, and it can get aggravated if I exercize alot. Now, i'm getting worried. I'm not going to stop working out, just because of the fact that if I ever work out the hernia may worsen. That would mean, that I choose for my abs to always stay, err...um... the way the are, and I'll always be weak as errr, ummm... as I am.

* Taken from webmd.com, "A woman may get a hernia while she is pregnant because of the pressure on her belly wall".

Rainy Day Activity

2006-06-26T00:53:00.000-04:00

I was all ready to go out with the kids. Believe me, anybody with 2 toddlers knows, that is no easy feat. (Especially for someone as lazy and un-motivated as I am). So, finally - with clean faces, freshly combed hair/peyos, we head to the garage to take out my car - errr, my huge double stroller. Drip. Its raining. Now go explain to a 3.5 year old child, that we are not going anywhere after all.

Somehow I managed to get them back upstairs with V. crying, and kvetching. In the end, I took out a Playmobil set he got from his Grandparents (paternal). I had saved it for a day like today, and luckily it kept us busy for a good 3 hours.

But believe me, this aint for a 4 year old to set up. It kept me busy and workin' hard for hours. (Not mentioning the fact that the tiny pieces used to connect all the pieces, came with a little thingymadgig to help you, I did it with my teeth, until it bled). But, this is not why I'm blogging about it. Just the fact that every single activity can indicate a persons personality. So, I finish setting it up (and V. is loovving the little details. If you see in the picture above, the banner of a cell phone, underneath is a cell phone holder for 3 teeny weeny cell phones that he just loves). Anyway, about his personality. So, I set up the set exactly as shown, and while I go change D.'s pamper, I leave V. to his own devices. This is what he did.

Moved all the Boxes to the corner, and stacked them on one pile
Cleared everything off from the desk
Moved the desk to the window
Made the postage machine (Is it pitney bowes), into a chair, because he just couldn't understand how a desk can be without one, and why the guy is standing.
Placed the computer in center of the desk, (it was funny to see how he glanced into this room to see how the computer was situated on our desk).

Yup. The guy is neat.

"Pitzee Yingel"

2006-05-08T19:19:00.000-04:00

My parents bought V. a bike for Afikomen. Sunday, my sister dropped it off (Thank you again, by the way) , and it was waiting for V. to come home from cheder.

He walks in, he sees the bike (a 16". A little bit too big for him, but not bad), and says "Uber eech bin a pitzee yingel" - "but I'm a tiny boy".

After pushing him around on it for a while, he loves it, but still only wants to sit on it without trying to ride it, or just walk it around.

When I took out the tricycle for D. I told V. "Now, the little bike is D's." so he says "Uber es fit meech besser", - "but it fits me better".....

Caught in Time

2006-05-07T10:30:00.001-04:00

This morning I overhear V. tell Duvid, "Shtei grood, eech gei deer machen peyos" - ("Stand straight, I"m going to make you peyos"). Yup, there were scissors in his hand.

The ABC's of Me

2006-05-03T20:10:00.000-04:00

Accent: Accents are usually determined by others. I guess its up to you's who know me to tell me what accent I have. A long time ago, when I interviewed with a hot-shot Employment Agency, who told me I have a very strong Chassidish accent. I have made an effort stopping to say ye - instead of yes, and making sure my grammar is accurate. With friends, I somehow put my guard down, and mess up.

Booze: I can drink a beer with you. Something light like Coors Light, or a malt like Zema or Smirnoff Ice.

Chore I Hate: Laundry

Dogs: Definately not liked by me. However, I'm not afraid of them. At a weekend event at work, I had to work closely with the owner of the place - a guy who always had his dog following him. To run away would be very unprofessional, not to mention immature. So there I stood.

Essential Electronics: Computer. iPod - someone just showed me today how to use it as a hard drive - so that will probably become an essential piece of equipment in the near future.

Favorite Perfume: Ralph Lauren Romance

Gold/Silver: I am not into jewelry. I like them, but I like to wear them sparingly.

My hometown - Brooklyn

Insomnia: At some points in my life I experience Insomnia

Job Title: I just don't know...

Kids: My 2 adorable yingelech! Which reminds me of yesterday's anecdote which I haven't posted about V. .. We're outside, and he needs to use the bathroom real badly. So we rush up, all the while he's saying "oy, oy, oy..." We make it. So I: "We made it!" He: "Boruch HaShem... Buroch HaShem, abi m'laybt" (for all of you who know Lipa Schmeltzer's thingy of Abi M'lebt)

Living Arrangements: Comfortable.

Most Admired Trait: I'll change it to what I admire most in people is an open mind, a sense of humor, take-it-easy attitude.

Number of jobs I've had: 4 since 1996. 5 if you count the job I kept for 2 days, and quit because it was too much of a hassle to get there. 3 if you don't count my 3 month job that I tired of quickly...

Overnight Hospital Stays: The 2 births. B'h that is all.

Phobia: Heights. Although, I recently did go on the Six Flags Great Adventures big whatchamacallit!

Quote: "Live and let live"

Religion: Something that chassidish politics have nothing to do with

Siblings: got some.

Time I usually wake up: 7:00 am

Unusual Talent: I can sing like a frog. Oops, that was an unusual lack of talent.

Vegetables I refuse to eat: Spinach, Cauliflower

Worst Habit: hairpulling.

X-Rays: The part of me most x-rayed - teeth

Yummy edibles: Spider Roll from Tea for Two (imitation crab sushi), chocolate

Zodiac: Leo

Interesting but not Surprising...

2006-04-06T22:37:00.000-04:00

While I was vaccuuming/washing the floor today, I've come to the realization that my parquet floors is the most worn out around the computer.

Kids, Home, and Work

2006-04-04T19:22:00.000-04:00

Kids - D. is really adorable. Counting steps while he walks down. Ring around the Rosie - sitting down 1/2 way through, then saying "nuch" (more) after each time, shaking his hand in the air when the music plays, putting his cheek to mine when I ask for a kiss, watched Uncle Moishy once where the kids are hugging each other - spontaneously gives me a hug.

V - has reached the terrible 2's at the age of 3. But today, B'h he was good. I got some tips from a friend of mine who took a parenting course.
1. 99% of "shtick" that this age kid does should be ignored.
2. If in any case, you don't know how to deal with a certain situation, and you end up doing nothing, you're on the way. (as opposed to yelling, etc)
3. You should understand what age/stage a child understands a concept. If your 3 year old son comes home with some wild story about a monkey that was in school, and you tell him that is a lie, you are introducing "lies" to him. What he has is an imagination, and you're basically giving him a label before he even understands what it is.

Don't remember everything she repeated to me, but I want to take the course. Not cheap, but I guess its a lifetime investment.

Now the cute stuff - He's eating supper, and sipping a grape juice filled water bottle (wearing his purim shtreimel and "bekitche". He drinks from the grape juice and says "eech gei veren shiker, and eech gei tantzen" (I'm going to get drunk, and then I will dance), and so he did.

Shabbos, I took the kids outside to the a front stoop where some women were talking, and the kids playing outside. He joined the other kids in the driveway, with a gentle protective hand on D.'s back.

Home - Pesach cleaning is just not happening.

Work: New Guy on the Block. I have my hopes up that I will like working with him. He's actually supposed to be my boss, but he hasn't given me anything to do yet. Its amusing to see his reaction w hen he realizes he many things are done wrong in this place. He basically is setting new office protocol etc. (don't have a look-alike for him yet. Any ideas from the peeps that work in the circusI do, for any employees of the circus are welcome)

We moved to a new location - crazy crazy happenings. Someone threatening to see, while others just quietly ticked off. Me, I got myself a small hole to call my own with walls almost up to the ceiling. Talks with my boss resuming to see if I can work only every Monday and Thursday that comes out on an odd number (j/k). I doubt they'd allow me to cut any more...

I left my keys in the john this morning. I hope I find it.
New computer at work. 19" flat screen monitor.

My job pays me for babysitting reimbursement. I just noticed that I charged them to much since October!

I think I should have stopped before I got to leaving my keys in the bathroom, but I'll sign off right here. Buh-Bye!

Be Smart, and don't buy "Smart" bottles

2006-03-28T18:24:00.001-05:00

D. is crying non-stop because I can't find his bottle and he will take no other. Now, I can't find it anywhere in the local stores, bec. its a weird kind of bottle (I can't seem to remember where I bought it). What a silly goose I am. I can never buy a typical baby bottle. Its always got to have some 'smart' feature, that appeals to me. Air vent, shmair vent, just buy bottles that are easy to find - for goodness sake. The playtex insulator is what he's addicted to, but without the part that goes on top. If you don't understand how this stupid bottle works - that's understandable. Its a weird bottle, made for consumers like me, who look for 'whistles' and bells on basic necessities. You live and you learn!

Now, if you're going to buy a bottle for your child, buy this one. These are easy to find.

Lights on

2006-03-27T18:31:00.000-05:00

I got new glasses. V. is the reason behind me needing new glasses. (He plays with my glasses and bends them out of shape.. duh!) So, the sides, has some kind of sequinsed (?) design that looks to him like a light. So when he wanted to try on my glasses, and I said no. He tells me he wants to turn on the light.

I'm like huh?, so I get closer, and he presses down on the 2 sides.

And, why did I say this blog was 'going shluffing' again? I guess, I still have no life. sheesh, just when I thought I still had a chance.

Gai Shluffen...

2006-03-26T23:41:00.000-05:00

I think this blog is "going shluffing"... I just have no interest anymore. Its not a definate, and I may post some things when the mood strikes me, like this right now... but overall, my interest in the blogesphere has diminished alot..

Alot of the blogs I used to read, I've practically lost all interest. No offense to the writers, its just me. Is this the first sign of getting a life?

Would you?

2006-03-02T21:53:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of Another Meshugunah Mommy... who posted a link. I'm posting the stuff here, with pics and all..

Here's a picture of a public toilet in Houston, TX

Now that you have seen the outside view of the Toilet, just spend another moment scrolling down to see how it looks from the inside..! It is made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box.

Would you use it?

The Muqata جميل في المقاطعة: The FIRST JBlogosphere Purim Parody CARNIVAL

2006-03-02T13:20:00.000-05:00

The Muqata جميل في المقاطعة: The FIRST JBlogosphere Purim Parody CARNIVAL

I can't wait to read all those blogs, between episodes of The Sopranos (The series I'm netflixing at this time). The laundry will have to wait.

Flush or Run?

2006-02-27T18:57:00.000-05:00

When you walk into a bathroom at work, where the toilet is not stuffed, however somebody simply didn't flush, do you flush or run?

Handwriting Analysis

2006-02-23T14:20:00.000-05:00

I was going through my old files, and found this handwriting analysis, I must have done 7 years ago.

Dr. House in the House

2006-02-21T18:54:00.000-05:00

Quite a while ago, I found a great similarity between two people on our office staff to TV characters. If you recall, (are you real, Shevy? Who reads your blog anyway?), I posted the Drew Carey Tea Episode - with a real live episode of what happens in our office. The personalities matching those of the TV characters whose lovely pictures are posted here. I can't resist putting the pictures in again. (Gives some bright coloring to my navy page).

Then at some other time, I posted an entry titled The Former Employees Series, Part 1 (which didn't end up being a Series), where I Posted the picture of Michael J. Fox to associate with that former Employee. In reality I can't decide between Fox or Ray Romano. So, just imagine someone in between. Not so silly or funny, but I think his looks are sort of in between Romano and Fox. What do you say, Salvadore?* (not real name).

The point of this post is that I've got another one. A character match. What else? He made the comparison himself. So, I hereby announce that Dr. House is in the house! The look, sarcasm, the bitterness, its all there. Mostly the sarcasm. He's definately not t hat mean. Ummm.. not mean at all - in case he ever gets linked to this blog. Nah - really, not mean. Just sarcastic, and bitter .. Oh, and funny too. Which reminds me that I sometimes compared him to Jerry Seinfeld. Might as well post his picture too, since its definately a qualifying TV character.

Question about work

2006-02-21T15:01:00.000-05:00

Am I crazy because I work there, or I work there because I'm crazy?

Are these Items Moving?

2006-02-16T19:03:00.000-05:00

Are these items moving? Or are they perfectly still??

One teacher said, "I felt like they were all moving...but slowly. Kind of like, they were breathing." The pictures are used to test the level of stress a person can handle.

The slower the pictures move, the better your ability of handling
stress.

Alleged criminals that were tested see them spinning around madly;
however, senior citizens and kids see them standing still.

None of these images are animated - they are perfectly still...

By the way, they seem to be moving very fast to me.
STRESSED OUT!

Little Kidbits

2006-02-07T22:02:00.000-05:00

V. has been trained since he was 2 and a couple of months. He has b'h not even had a handful of accidents since I've considered him "trained". (Day trained). Anyway, one day this week when I took him off the bus he tells me on the way down that he he made a "Weh-che". which means he um.... defecated.. in his pants.

I didn't really know what to make of that, since he hardly ever has accidents. Some part of me thought, that maybe he's acting out and sees that other kids make accidents in school, and get attention. First I asked him, if it happened in school or on the bus, and he said school. If he would have said the bus, Its possible that he said he has to go, but he's on a bus.. whatever.

Problem was, when I was trying to talk to him about what happened, he was laughing in my face. I still don't quite know what happened. I asked him "Did you tell your Rebbe you have to go?", He says "No", so I say "Why not?" and then no answer. I was very serious, but I didn't yell or scream, since that is also attention. I didn't want him to get too much attention out of this.

So I bathed him, and made him wear PJ's. I put him on PJ's mainly because, I wasn't going out for the rest of the day anyway, and it was much easier for me, but let him think its a punishment. He didnt make too much of a fuss, since I told him he doesn't have to go to sleep.

Anyway, the next morning, after he was dressed, and I was packing his snack, I took out a pull-up, and told him to put it in his briefcase. So he looks at me and tells me "I'm going to cheder. I don't need a pull-up". So I say "Oh, If you don't want to tell your Rebbe today that you need to go to the bathroom, give it to your Rebbe and tell him to put it on for you, bec. I don't want you to get your underpants dirty". So, he said he's not going to make it dirty.

So he comes home the next day. No accident. While I was hanging up his coat, before I can even ask him about his day. He asks me if I washed out his underpants yet. Checking up on my housekeeping responsibilities now, huh? Goes to check the bathroom where I left his dirty clothes to soak. No, I'm not going to tell you if it was washed already or not!

Err.... While we're on the subject - V. still wears pullups at night. So, when I send hubby to buy some, he never looks if its for girls or boys. Of course, he always ends up buying the girl ones. So, V. wears Princess pullups. Funny thing is that he needs to look at the "ladies" before I put it on. He likes the one with the 1 lady, not the one with 3. There's a whole discussion about it before putting it on, Which one has which color shoes, and the color of the hair. He likes the redhead Princess. I'm not sure if he'd even want to wear the Boys' pullups at this point.

Now, of course our dear D. is so adorable as well, yet not so verbal yet. He just started saying Doo and Durt (here and there), so when I ask him where something is, its either one or the other.

When D. eats anything, and I ask him if its good, he says "Yu" and then starts feeding me. For him, me questioning if the food is good, can only mean that I want some. Why else would I ask?

V.'s act of being a Rav paid off big time when it was time to give up his pacifier. Of course, I explained him that he was a big boy already and didn't need it. When he went to sleep, he was in middle of his act, and said "He didn't need it because he was a Rav".

Adorable Photography pictures are on the way. I can't wait to get them. Have a good one.

Common Business Phrases - What They Really Mean

2006-02-05T22:44:00.000-05:00

A Clarification - To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.
A Conference - A place where conversation is substituted for the dreariness of labor and the loneliness of thought.
A Meeting- A mass mulling by master minds.
A Program - Any assignment that can't be completed by one telephone call.
Action is being taken - Your correspondence is lost and we are still trying to locate it 9.
Action please - Get yourself involved for me. Don't worry, I'll claim the credit.
Basic agreement has been reached: The @##$%%'s won't even talk to us.
Channels - be trail left by the interoffice memo. Consultant - (or Expert) - Any ordinary guy more than 50 miles from home.
Coordinator - me guy who has a desk between two expeditors.
Copy to - Here's a share of the headache.
Essentially complete: It's half done.
Expedite - To confound confusion with commotion
For your approval, please - Put your neck on the chopping board for me please.
For your immediate action - Do it NOW! Or we'll all get into trouble.
For your information, please (FYI) - We don't know what to do with this, so please keep it.
For your necessary action - It's your headache now.
Give Us the Benefit of Your Present Thinking - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already decided to do.
Give us your interpretation -- Your warped opinion will be pitted against your adversary's good sense.
Informed Source - The guy who told the guy you just met.
It is in process - So wrapped up in red tape that the situation is almost hopeless.
Let's Get Together on This - I'm assuming you're as confused as I am.
Not well defined at this time: Nobody's even thought about it.
Not well understood: Now that we've thought about it, we don't want to think about it anymore.
Note and Initial - Let's spread the responsibility for this.
Noted and returned - We don't know what to do with this, so please keep it little while.
Please discuss - I don't know what the hell this is, so please brief me.
Please note and initial -- Let's spread the responsibility for this.
Please reply soon - Please be efficient. It makes me look inefficient.
Potential show stopper - The team has updated their resumes.
Regards - Thanks for reading all the bullshit.
Reliable Source - The guy you just met.
Re-orientation - Getting used to working again.
Requires further analysis and management attention: Totally out of control!
Results are being quantified: We're massaging the numbers so they will agree with our conclusions.
Results are promising: Turned power on and no smoke detected -- this time...
Review and comment - Do the dirty work so that I can forward it.
Risk is high, but within acceptable ranges of risk: 100:1 odds, or with 10 times over budget using 10 times the people we said we'd employ.
See Me, or Let's Discuss - Come down to my office, I'm lonesome.
Serious but not insurmountable problems: It'll take a miracle.
Task force to review: Seven people who are incompetent at their regular jobs have been loaned to the project
To Activate - To make carbons and add more names to the memo.
To Give Someone the Picture - A long, confused and inaccurate statement to a newcomer.
To implement a Program - Hire more people and expand the office.
To Negotiate - To seek a meeting of minds without knocking together of heads.
Under Active Consideration - We're looking in the files for it.
Under Consideration - Never heard of it.
Unimpeachable Source - The guy who started the rumor originally.
We are aware of it -- We had hoped that the fool who started it would have forgotten about it by this time.
We are investigating/processing your request with the relevant authorities - They are causing the delay, not us.
We are making a survey -- We need more time to think of an answer.
We predict: We hope to God! (There is a light at the end of the tunnel...)
We will look into it - By the time the wheel makes a full turn, we assume you will have forgotten about it too.
Will advise you in due course -- If we figure it out, we'll let you know.
Your letter is receiving our attention - We are still trying to figure out what you want..

Now, as I was going through despair.com, I noticed they added some video clips. Boy, I would not want to work for that guy. Nor would I want my employer to get a hold of this book. Oooh. Maybe they are putting us on the "It could be worse program"... Take a look, (scroll down a bit, to view on Windows Explorer, or Quicktime) but not before you comment!

To Quit or Not to Quit

2006-01-31T10:49:00.000-05:00

I've been through this stage many times before. Making a decision for big change in my life seems to be very hard for me. Now, I've been contemplating leaving my job, and just trying to be a Stay at home mom, and if that doesn't work out, I can start looking for another job then.

Why I should

More time for me
I'm totally burnt out
More time with the kids
Ridding myself from unnecessary frustrations and grief due to problems with other employees
If staying at home doesn't work out, finding a job that I will enjoy
Possibly finishing up my Associates Degree. I only have 2 core requirements to take.

Cons

Giving up a full time salary for a 5 hour work day, and Fridays off.
Having more time to spend money that I'm not making
Basically becoming a hermit, bec. thats the way I am when I'm home, I don't go out.
Having no schedule makes me lazy. (My house will be messier bec. I will have too much time to make a mess, and no motivation to clean it)
My skills getting rusty.

Actually, this is not a fair list of the pros and cons, since there are some that I wouldn't put on the blog, but I'll post it anyway. I haven't done anything in the last 2 hours.

Shopping Online

2006-01-30T22:55:00.000-05:00

How to waste time at work

2006-01-30T22:24:00.000-05:00

No, I did not make this up. As you will see, it was actually written by a guy. His name is Christopher Francis Petrozzo, and I "stole" it from bangitout.com. If its old and you read it good for you. Its new to me. Of course not all of them pertains to everybody but it sure is funny. They've got me with #13, but I've basically cut down these days.

1. “Morning Routine”
This requires accurate timing on the part of the individual to get to work right on time, and not too early, so as to maximize the amount of actual “on the clock” time being wasted. So come into work, say all your obligatory hello’s, hang up your coat, log-in to your computer, go grab a cup of coffee, come sit back down and get situated because you have an entire day ahead of you with plenty of opportunities to strategically waste time. Total time wasted: 10 minutes

2. Breakfast
A lot of people prefer to eat breakfast at home before coming to work – this is wrong. The great thing about eating breakfast at work is that you can do it at your desk, so if the boss walks by he or she will see that you’re in the office on time and ready to work, but at this very moment you’re indisposed because you’re eating and any business-related matters he or she wants to speak to you about can wait till you’re finished. I usually stick with something cheap and simple like oatmeal. Go to the supermarket and buy a large container of it that you can keep in one of those random desk drawers that you just stuff papers in, you know the ones, where struggling attorneys hide their bottles of bourbon, because you don’t really have enough important stuff to make use of all those drawers anyway. You can also do the variety pack of cereal or the muffin/bagel/egg sandwich that you purchase on the way to work.
Now, if you’re really lucky, your office will have its own cafeteria, preferably on a different floor. In this case you can come into work, do your “morning routine”, then go to the cafeteria and buy breakfast to bring back to your desk to consume. The benefit of having a cafeteria in your office is the travel time wasted going to and coming from the cafeteria. Depending on where it is relative to your work space this can be as much as 10 minutes of time wasted in one round-trip alone. Nice!!! Total time wasted: 15 minutes (at least)

3. Water
Drinking close to a gallon of water a day is a great way to stay healthy and waste plenty of time at work. The best way to do this and not be too obvious about it is to buy one of those colorful, screw-top, unbreakable plastic water jugs. I own a red one that stores up to 34 oz of water. This equals four daily trips of: walking to the water cooler, the actual filling of the bottle, the generic office banter/exchanging of pleasantries with co-workers while standing at the cooler, the cursory taking a sip and casually looking around your office while nodding after your jug’s been filled, and, finally, the walk back to your desk/cubicle/office. Doing this 3 or 4 times a day isn’t going to arouse as much suspicion from your manager or supervisor as is getting up every fifteen minutes to go to the cooler and drink several tiny paper cups of water. The point is you want to be seen at your desk, looking diligent, as much as is humanly possible – even if you’re actually just sitting there drinking water. Total time wasted: 10 minutes

4. Urinating
Drinking that much water throughout the course of a day really does a number on your bladder. I find that for every 30 oz or so of water I drink I need at least one, sometimes two, trips to the men’s room. This, again, is a great way to waste time, because no one can question where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing – replying, “I’m sorry, I had to use the rest room” ends a boss’s line of questioning IMMEDIATELY. So let’s approximate 5 trips to the rest room per day for the purposes of urinating alone. Now, while in the rest room there are several things you can do to tack on a few precious seconds to your strategic time-wasting – these things include adjusting your necktie, fixing your hair, re-tucking-in your shirt, etc. These are all great little tricks that, when combined, waste up to an extra 5 minutes of your workday and don’t look at all conspicuous to anyone else who may see you doing them in the rest room. What other tricks can you think of?! Total time wasted: 15 minutes

5. Lunch
Lunch should be at least an hour and a half – no exceptions. The trick to getting more than an hour out of your lunch “hour” is to leave for lunch a different time everyday, but always be sure to leave sometime during “lunchtime” and preferably right after you see your boss or one of your superiors leave to go get their lunch. It’s a really simple strategy – say you want to get lunch at 12:30 pm today because you know your manager has a meeting at noon that will probably last about 2 hours. In this case you leave for lunch at 12:15 pm and return a little after 2 pm. If anyone asks any questions you tell them that you left for lunch at 1 pm and no one’s the wiser, as long as you don’t have any snitches in your office that are looking to try and get you in trouble because they know you don’t do anything at work all day. If this is your situation then that’s unfortunate and you’re going to have to be extra careful in your comings and goings. But, a great way to avoid this problem is to leave to get lunch a little later than everyone else, but still during the designated “lunch hour”. I find in my office most people leave to get themselves lunch around noon, so I usually leave around 12:30 pm when most people are still out and I have less chance of being spotted. Total time wasted: 1 hour and 30 minutes (at least)

6. The Half Hour Before and After Lunch
When I said lunch should be over an hour I specifically meant that one should be missing from the office building/surrounding premises for that time interval. There is, of course, the downtime before and after lunch that an expert time-wasting employee can take advantage of, if they’re smart.
The half hour before you leave to go to lunch is probably the most useless stretch of time in the entire workday. No one, not even the people that actually like their jobs, get anything done during this period of time. I use this time to do my online banking and other internet-related things of that nature. The great thing about online banking is all the numbers and “stuff” on the screen look like something you might be working on to the untrained eye when, in reality, we know it’s not, but it just works to your advantage that most managers and supervisors are past their prime and don’t really grasp things like “personal computers” as well as you and your yuppie friends do.
Now, the half hour after lunch can be used for running errands like going to the post office and mailing birthday cards, that you got free postage for by flirting with the gay guy in the mailroom, or picking up your dry cleaning or whatever else you might need to get done that day. Here’s how you accomplish these tasks without getting in trouble – after you’ve finished your lunch come back to your desk and get yourself re-situated. You can do things like waking your computer up or stacking some papers on your desk or writing a few random post-it notes and sticking them to your monitor, etc. Basically you’re trying to do anything and everything to make it look like you’ve just gotten up from your work area a moment earlier and whoever’s looking for you must have just missed you. Darn!
Now, there’s an ingenious deal clincher you can use here to ensure that you’ve got everyone fooled: when you finish your lunch, don’t throw out your trash. Most people do this, “normal” people throw out their trash after they’ve finished eating. This, again, is wrong. Bring your trash back to your cubicle and spread it out at your desk – it makes it look like you ate lunch there and the boss won’t be upset with you if he/she happens to see you coming back into the building with your dry cleaning because you were such a dedicated employee who worked through lunch and only “stepped out” afterward to take care of some semi-urgent personal matters. If, by some miracle, you had already thought to do this before I just told you about it, you may pass Go! and collect two-hundred dollars. Congratulations!
If you don’t have errands to run you can just come back to your desk (with your trash!) and surf the web for 30 minutes or so because, as was just explained, the Arby’s wrappers next to your keyboard make it look like you’ve just finished eating and are still on your lunch “hour”. Total time wasted: 1 hour

7. Defecating
This one should be obvious – 20 minutes at least, even if the actual “act” only takes you 30 seconds (must’ve been the Chinese) – just sit there and relax. Bonus points for multiple bowel movements a day. And, once again, no one can ask any prying questions about what you were doing. You were in “the bathroom”. Total time wasted: between 20 and 30 minutes

8. Snacks
A lot of people don’t bring snacks to or buy snacks while at work. These people are known as “idiots”. No one likes to be bothered while they’re eating, so, if someone sees you eating they’re not going to bother you because they know they wouldn’t want you bothering them when they were trying to enjoy that Snickers bar that they had been saving in the freezer all morning. Got it? Mid-morning snacks and mid-afternoon snacks are a must when you’re trying not to be productive. Total time wasted: 15 minutes

9. The “Internet”
It amazes me how anyone gets anything done, or how bosses expect anyone to get anything done, when nearly all of us now have a world of knowledge at our fingertips. There are a plethora of websites that get updated multiple times a day and which can be looked at in a relatively non-discreet manner. Examples include: cnn.com, SI.com, craigslist.org (the Mecca of a procrastinator’s online universe), and others. Now, these aren’t pages that you can leave up on your computer screen all the time, but it’s very easy to take 5, maybe 10, minutes and peruse their content when you get tired of loading your empty stapler. My girlfriend has a more interactive way of wasting her time through her reading of craigslist’s “Missed Connections”. This is definitely more her thing than mine, but I give her the utmost credit here in knowing how to get the least out of her workday. Good work, honey! Or should it be “Good non-work!”? Total time wasted: 30 minutes

10. BS-ing
This is only acceptable to do with colleagues that do the same thing you do all day – nothing. This is fairly self-explanatory and there isn’t much strategy involved. Just go to one of your buddy’s offices or cubicles and talk about sports or boobs or how little you’ve accomplished so far that day. If you’re a woman talk about your period or chocolate or your cats or whatever else it is that women talk about. The only thing here is to bring some papers or a folder or something “office” looking with you (and a pen!) so if anyone walks by and asks what you “gentleman” (or “ladies”) are “up to” you can say something business-sounding and not, “uh…, nothing…”. Keep the conversation length to a minimum, I’d say no more than 10 minutes, but feel free to do this with a few different people at least 3 times a day. Total time wasted: 30 minutes

11. Emails
This one should also be obvious. Typing emails furiously makes it look like you’re really working hard. I try and keep at least 6 email dialogues per day, Monday through Friday. And, if possible, try and keep a majority of these conversations with females because girls love to chat about “stuff”. Guys are bad at emailing because we don’t have much to say to each other. Most questions guys ask each other require one-, sometimes few-, word answers. Guys are better to call on the phone (local calls only!) because the conversations are quick and can easily go unnoticed. Also, emailing a girl you’re romantically interested in is a great way to court as you’ve got 8 hours to craft and perfect everything you say to her. It’s best to use your work email account to do this because most personal email templates are too colorful and you’re more likely to get caught, but if you have to use a personal account because your work emails are monitored then just be cautious about it. Total time wasted: 1 hour

12. The Half Hour Before You Leave Work
Like the half hour before and after lunch, this time interval is pointless. No one wants to do anything, most people can’t really even concentrate as they’re thinking about their commute or what they’re going to have for dinner or, in my case, where they’re going to get drunk after work and what time they should set their alarm for the next day so as to ensure they can wake up and get into work on time, albeit hung over. I usually use this time to play online games because many people will be leaving, or will already have left, the office and don’t really care what anyone else is doing that late in the day anyway. Total time wasted: 30 minutes

13. Instant Messenger
If you’re lucky enough to have this option at work than you shouldn’t of even had to have read this in the first place because you don’t do shit at work to begin with. Just please make sure to keep the sound muted and have a few work-related windows on your computer monitor available to maximize if the boss man (or boss lady) decides to drop by. Total time wasted: All fricken day.

14. Something Like This
I started this thing at 10 am. It is now almost 2 pm. I haven’t done a thing all day and it feels great.

In conclusion:
Total time wasted doing all previously mentioned and discussed activities (minus #13 and #14) is…
Approximately 395 minutes or a little over 6.5 hours!
That means, in a given day, you can get by really only doing an hour and a half of actual work. To some even this seems like a lot, maybe even too much, but you must consider that this equates to 7.5 hours of work a week and you’re getting paid for 40. You’re basically being paid to do nothing 32.5 hours a week. You’re awesome.

Also, Check out this Only Simchas Message Generator from bangitout.com

Disclaimer

2006-01-30T16:26:00.000-05:00

I, Shevy Traub, do not take responsibility for the contents of blogs that are linked in the comment section of my posts. I do therefore realize, that any readership and commenters I may have right now, I shall lose due to this statement. I, Shevy Traub, do not endorse these websites. I feel compelled to make a statement as such, as not to be associated with said blogs by default. If you chance to click on the website, and your reaction is EWWWW! chances are that it was my initial reaction as well, and I do not visit those websites twice.

For a listing of blogs that I do visit see my side bar.

The Jar of Life by Aish

2006-01-25T10:07:00.000-05:00

I love their little 90 seconds movies. Here's a new one!

Call me on the Tefelone...

2006-01-24T18:55:00.000-05:00

I can't seem to teach V. that the device we talk into is a telephone, not a tefelone. I really and truly tried.

Me: Say Te
V: Te
Me: Le
V: Le
Me: Phone
V: Phone
Now: Telephone
Tefelone

I repeated the process many times.

Mother-in-law Joke

2006-01-23T18:56:00.000-05:00

I got this joke today, and thought I'd share...

Mrs. Ginsberg's friend from the old neighborhood paid her a visit. After Mrs. Ginsberg had pumped her dry of news it was now the friend's turn. "I hear your daughter Hannah got married. It's a good match?"

“Believe me, no girl ever got such a wonderful husband,” Mrs. Ginsberg enthused. “Like a queen he treats her. In soapy water he doesn’t allow she should put her hand. She’s resting in bed until eleven and then on a tray the maid brings orange juice and breakfast. In the afternoon it’s shopping on Fifth Avenue – such clothes she buys; gorgeous!! And in the evening she meets her husband for cocktails at the Ritz. For such mazel we can only thank G-d.”

“And how is Raymond, your son? I hear he’s married also.”

Mrs. Ginsburg’s face fell. “Don’t even ask,” she said dourly. “I only wish he had a little of Hanna’s mazel. He married one of those fancy-shmancy girls from uptown. My poor Raymond he got a wife that won’t even put her hand in soapy waters she should wash a little something. To get up early she’s against, so she lies in bed until eleven eating bum-bums –a maid yet she needs to bring her a noon breakfast. In the afternoon does she at least dust around the house a little? No! On Fifth Avenue she goes to buy expensive clothes. And in the evening does she sit down at the table with my Raymond they should have a haimish supper? I should live so long! She drags him off to the Ritz they should guzzle cocktails. Oy! What sin have I committed, G-d should punish me with such a daughter-in-law?”

From the Encyclopedia of Jewish Humor.

Another clip...

2006-01-23T18:34:00.000-05:00

Since my last post brought me up from 0-1 comment each post to a whopping 3 comments, (being sarcastic here...) I'll post another fun clip for you. Here goes...

ah.. I just thought it was cool that google supplies the code for it, since its easy to place in the blog. I'm sure I'll tire of the generalness of the blog soon enough. Have a good one!
P.S. My kids are still as cute as ever. Tell you about our Photography session experience at a different opportunity. (If we know each other, you can always ask me)

I thought this was quite funny..

2006-01-22T22:24:00.000-05:00

I don't think this is the 'Chevra''s typical fan, but this guy writes "I loved this song (even though im not jewish, and have no idea what its saying) and i felt it appropriate to lip sync it."

Moments of the Day

2006-01-18T19:34:00.000-05:00

Mommy moments: My D. putting his lolly into my shaitel, V. using the toilet - standing position
Mommy is still a child: Eating 2 Fruit by the foot from a secret stash of junk
Weird moment: Walking down BP streets, listening to Matisyahu on my MP3 player, (usually don't walk down the streets with earplugs, however, I was wearing it on the train, and figured - who cares?)
Cool moment: Getting my new Motorola Razr
Disappointing moment: No English instruction manual with the phone. Half the fun is figuring out the cool features.

All I can think of for now. I think I like my abridged edition. Better than nothing...

Comments and Answers

2006-01-11T18:52:00.000-05:00

Me: You are such a tzaddik
V: Oh, no. I'm a Ruv

Me: What did your Rebbe say today.
V: About the "Heiliger Bashefer"

Me: Where are you going to have Peyos?
V: Takes his finger, makes a shaving noise, and 'forks' it over his head (He apparently understood how, not where)

V: My Rebbe screams!
Me: (in surprise) Your rebbe screams? What did he scream?
V: (screeches in his squeeky voice) Kinderlech, Velecha Parsha Geit Daya Vuch? (meaning: Kinderlach, what parsha is it this week?)

In Cheder Arein...

2006-01-03T20:35:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I have a cheder yingel already! (Never mind my classmates have 8 year olds, but each in their own stage, I guess).

Sunday we went to show V. the cheder (and see it ourselves). First stop, was the Menahal's office who V. shook his hand, and then became shy when asked his name. Then we went to one of the nursery classes (where V. was extremely shy as well). However, he was amazed at the sight, of all the boys, and the many Rebbes we passed. We stood in the hallway watching the nursery kids go down to lunch. They were lined up at the wall, and some sat down over there. I asked V. if he wants to sit and he didn't. But D. did and it was adorable how this 15 month munchkee sat down next to the 2-3 year olds and was laughing!

Anyway, not going into every detail about the visit to the cheder. First comment V. made out of the building was "Yetzt vill eech zayn dee meidelech", (Now I want to see the girls). I thought that was very funny. I told him he'll have to wait until he gets home from cheder to see the girls at Babbi's ( the babysitter), because only yingelech can go to cheder and have a Rebbe.

Today was his first day! He didnt talk much about it. However, putting him to sleep, I kept on bribing him with going to cheder. "Whoever wants to go to cheder, has to go bathe now - has to go to sleep now". It seemed to work. I'll take that as a good sign.

Now about D.. He is just the cutest thing. He sees a tape recorder he insists I put it on ("Lala"). He also loves siddurs as V. does and shakes while he pretends to daven. Once at the doctor's office - he was shaking with a siddur, boy did he get attention with that one. He b'h started walking recently, and loves loves his shoes.

Another cute thing he does, after I wash him in the bath (sink), and spread out the towel, he crawls out on the counter, and lies down on the towel like its a pillow. Such a Kodak moment, however dangerous to get a camera at that time (I gotta remember to prepare it beforehand).

Buroch Hashem, I'm shepping nachas. How's that for an update?
By the way, the kids in the pictures are not of my boychicks. They are generic pictures found by searching google.com.

Bad Parenting...

2005-11-09T21:16:00.000-05:00

Who Did You Vote For?

2005-11-09T08:10:00.000-05:00

A better question yet, Did you vote?

Last weekend, a campaign event was held in Boro Park on 13th Avenue. The streets were jammed with people. Men, women, kids, together with their big double Mountain buggies, cloistered together between 48th Street and 49th Street, to show support for Mike the Mentsch Bloomberg. (That was the slogan used). Balloons were distributed. Cotton Candy & Popcorn too.

Side Anecdote: V. desparately wanted a balloon. But oh, was it going to be difficult to get one. But what don't you do for your kids? So I joined the flock of pushing women on something you can't call a line, to get one. Not being the type to push my way through, I sort of stood there, being pushed from side to side. I was about to give up, when 2 women in front of me left, and all of a sudden I found myself in the front of the "something you couldn't call a line". So my hands up in the air (short hands, at that), I tried to get the attention of the VERY cool and collected young woman handing them out. She seemed to be fair, and trying to look for little kids beneath the shuffling women, who are desperating reaching out for her help. That was sweet of her. Anyway, I got a balloon in the end. By that time, I was hot and sweaty (sweat in November), and so proud of myself. I tried to tie it to the stroller for V, but he threw a temper tantrum. He wants to hold it. Not a second passed, when the balloon was floating away in the air, to V.'s glee. That is exactly what he had intended to do with it, in the first place. (Afterwards, I learned that all the smart mommies had gone to M&M Shoe store to get balloons from their Grand Opening).

So, Goodies were distributed. Music was playing. People were pushing to get a closer look. (Pushing so hard, that at one point, someone in the back of me and on one of the sides pushed me simultaneously, and left my stroller with the kids on a 45 degree angle. Mike Bloomberg impressed everybody with throwing in some yiddish words, and talking about his mothers shul, yada yada.

After all that, how many people that were there actually went to the polls to vote? How many women in our communities are exercizing their right to vote? How many people were less interested in the free fun for the kids and more interested in the campaign?

Anyway, as I am typing this, I am thinking.... Why the heck am I typing this. What is my point? I didn't vote either. I am registered in a different district, and never reregistered.

I think my point is/was, that we should vote. We should register. We should care. Of course, fun for the kids is a good plus, but why shouldn't we take more of an interest? I don't know where this post is leading too, so blah blah blah... whatever...

Maybe this is just a weak attempt in combining my little anecdotes with some other thoughts. Better luck next time they say, huh?

I Took the Cute Animal Test: My Results

2005-11-04T12:14:00.000-05:00

You Are A: Duckling!

The cutest of the cute, these baby ducks are often spotted in the spring following closely behind their mother. As a duckling you will grow up quickly, becoming one of the adult ducks seen commonly in ponds and streams. Playful and timid, charming and vulnerable, ducklings are nature's very definition of innocence.

You were almost a: Lamb or a Groundhog
You are least like a: Squirrel or a Duck What Cute Animal Are You?

Point Well Taken

2005-10-14T10:03:00.000-04:00

Conversation with V. (I won't bother typing it in "yiddish". It's understood from my other posts, that we converse in yiddish)

Me: Do you want apples.
V: Lots of pieces
Me: (giving him a sandwich bag of apple slices)
V: I want honey
Me: But you don't even like honey.
V: Honey is good. Honey is sweet.
Me: But when Totty put honey on your challah, you said that it "tzips" (which usually means sour, or bitter, whatever...)
V: Honey is vvvvvery good. Honey is sweet.

I guess he learned his lesson in school very well. No matter what his personal opinion is - Honey is good, Honey is sweet.

His Main Concern

2005-10-11T20:37:00.000-04:00

V. fell down the stairs today. I have my friend's son over from 5-6, and they were going to get nosh from his briefcase. I think it was just about 6-7 stairs (carpeted, but it has plastic, so that can hurt too), but he seemed fine. It was dusk, so it just got a little dark out, and probably did not see where he was going. I open the light fast. When I got to him his face was down on the floor, his feet on the 2nd step. He was crying, but it was more "I can't get up" cry than a "It hurts" cry.

Anyway, I calm him down, and take him up the stairs. He's trying to say something through his little whimpers, "Mammi, maaaaaach tzeee du liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight" ("Mommy, close the light")! Then he asked for his shtreimel that had fallen off his head when he fell. (No wonder he fell, he was wearing a shtreimel and his father's vest)!

An Interesting, Yet Important Milestone!

2005-10-10T20:19:00.000-04:00

At age 2 1/2 parents tend to stop looking for milestones. You may notice new things, but the active toodler is so busy keeping you on your toes, that they just grow up with a blink of an eye.

Today, while big tzaddik V. was playing with his toys, and I was putting in a load of laundry to wash. All of a sudden V. goes into the bathroom. That would usually mean, that he would get up on the toilet seat, onto the sink, open the medicine chest, and dump everything in sight into the toilet. Deoderants, mousse, hairspray, q-tips, nail clippers, yada yada yada... So, this time when I noticed him entering the bathroom, I went to check up on him.

He proceeded to the toilet, and so I thought, I knew what was on the agenda, but this time, I was wrong, waaay wrong . He took a tissue, blew his nose, and threw the used tissue in the toilet. Atta boy! aaah... nachas...

Another great thing he did today, was when I asked him if he wants to take a bath, he said yes, and undressed himself. He has undressed himself before, but at his will. (aka. when I need him dressed).... A groise bucher...

As far as his "rebbe" act goes, he started stroking a make-believe mustache and beard when he "makes kiddush". He also tells me to "machen a ruv's peyos", when I want to brush his hair (he being the ruv naturally).

D. is b'h becoming a character as well. If I want instant action from him, all I have to do is turn on the music. I get dancing, clapping hands, waving etc. He's also starting to say some words.. its really cute. I gotta admit, I'm not as inclined to start listing the words as I was with V.

I don't want to ruin this nachas post with work stuff. So, I'll leave that for some other time. I just did ruin it with work. I gotta add another sentence.

MY KIDS ARE THE CUTEST!!!!

Buckle Down!

2005-09-26T20:12:00.000-04:00

Ok. I need to get serious about work. I got a "talking to" today, and nobody in my place gets a talking to. It was a nice decent talk, but still a talk from someone who never gives the talk. I used to be on top of everything, everybody, everywhere, and lately (in the best couple of years) I laid back a little, due to some conflict with a new higher up staff member. But now, x113 is leaving (wwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaah) to a better place (for her, at least), and all the secretarial garbage is back in my lap (AAAAAAAAAgh).

So, I got to take charge again. Please, G-d, let us find somebody soon. Let her stay with us despite the fact that she will not get paid on time. Let her stay despite the fact that she will have to put up with alot of garbage. Amen!

Mazel Tov!

2005-09-21T20:40:00.000-04:00

Mazel Tov to my cutie D. upon reaching the important milestone, HIS FIRST STEP!

And here's an anecdote about my big tzaddik V: Today, after putting him in the bath, I saw him taking water and wetting his hair, by pulling on it. So, I ask him proudly "V, dee vasht alein dein hoor?" (you're washing your hair by yourself?) So, he says "Nein, eech mach mein payos. Dee Ruv macht a payos" (I'm making my payos. The Rav is making the payos)

He's been pretending to be a rav or rebbe lately. Depends on the day. Basically, its the same act as this but instead of being a Tatty, he's a Rav or a Rebbe

That's My Boy!

2005-09-12T23:29:00.000-04:00

So, my big Tzaddik goes to playgroup already! I feel old. (I won't mention the fact that most of my classmates have 7 & 8 year olds). We had a bit of waterworks, after I took him there this morning. He wouldn't let me go. Although he was really excited on the way there, and wanted to jump on every single schoolbus we passed, once we got there, he said "andere school" - other school.

I think what he meant was, he wants to go to the school he went to, when he was at his grandparents, and went to school with his cousin. I left him crying there :(, and couldn't stop thinking about it all the way to work.

So, despite the fact that I had just gotten my into papers that tell us "Please do not call while the playgroup is in session" I just had to. I wouldn't have had peace all day, especially due to the fact that he didnt have his pacifier with him to calm him down. So I called. He was fine.

Anyway, he was very happy to see me when I got home. The image I posted is a sticker he was wearing when he got home. My little ketchup lover! He also made some door hanging thingy (Quote: a bunch stick'as - stickers). that he was so proud of, and hung it on the fridge for Tatty to see when he comes home.

He was zonked by the time 7:00 came around (no real nap). I put him into his crib. He called me. I tell him "Whoever wants to go to school tomorrow, has to go to sleep right now"... and quiet.... I guess we can call it an overall good school day for my boychick'l.

D and his little antics...

2005-09-08T20:47:00.000-04:00

This little tiny kiddo is starting with cutesie antics. Lately, he's been getting excited when he sees a hairbrush. When I give it to him, he brushes his hair. Also, when he's eating food by himself, for ex. bread, or dry cerel, he tries to feed them to me. When you look at him, he gets shy, he blinks his eyes and looks down, but then raises his eyes again s-l-o-w-l-y. Its adorable.... When the music is on, he dances along, while sittingj, and claps his hand. When I'm sitting on a chair, and he comes to me, he doesn't kvetch to be picked up, he lays his head on my lap, and waits for me to stroke his face. .... me. yummy. delicious.

Too bad I can't kiss him now. He's sleeping for the night. I guess thats a good thing, too.

I need habit breaking tips...

2005-09-08T10:13:00.000-04:00

Ok. This is the craziest and most disgusting habit ever. But, I have it. I've been doing it for years, and its costing me. Ok, first I gotta tell you what it is...

Hair-splitting gone over the edge...
Now it was half-bad before I got married (yes, I've been doing it for that long). but now its costing me $$$, lots of $$, because I'm killing all my sheitels. I don't go split the hairs anymore, I pull it out, then break the hair, and hope a split end happens. Sicko... so now you know a bit more of the real me!

I've tried putting band-aids on my finger, but guess what, it doesn't work. The generic plastic band-aids annoy me so much, I can't stand 'em on my fingers. I go ahead and buy the good band-aid brand. You don't even feel you have it on your finger. I can go ahead and split my ends without even noticing the bandaid.

Eeek!